approved topics for Jezebel posts:

When I was young, the was a room in my mind where there sat a lonesome cheeseburger

Take off the pants

If, my darling child, you ever tell a fib

This thread is a direct line to God jr. It may be used to request pain and misfortune for those who have sleighted you.

I have quite a few complaints:

I’m really digging the new Taylor Swift

Well, today it’s the horses

I just flew in from heaven and boy are my wings tired

T’Iriqo’s Admonishments, sponsored by Anti-Coors Light:

“Put the quarters in your mouth and dance for me like your mother used to do” - my very sensual uncle

Shaking my darn hooves

Review of the Lagoon 2:

We must not rush to judgement until there is proof

She’s so lucky

To be banished from the Game:

Birds of a feather/always and forever/flown from the tether/pulling every lever/do I hear the cracking of beak?/the mangled throat that cannot speak?/bury my eggs in the abyssal zone/hatched at depths as yet unknown

The putrefied remains of my ancestors, please accept my most sensual gratitude for honoring them.

J oin

Harambe