In the spirit of Twitter,...

Yes, you don’t get free stuff after agreeing to pay for other stuff. Also, Most Dedicated =/= Richest.

I mean, what? This is such a confounding story. Who says “Let’s distract from our vandalism, by concocting an even bigger story and then not even bothering to get our lies straight”. What a bunch of idiots.

They need to someone to be angry and shitty to Clinton? Did they lose Nina Turner’s phone number?

Well, you know... Having a vagina is a debilitating medical condition according to FoxNews.

I don’t know how I feel about dives.

She’s still superhuman. When I fall off the beam, I don’t get any Olympic medals. I just get a concussion, 2 weeks off work, and a stern warning not to get too drunk around park benches.

Damn you. Now I have to start paying attention to Canoeing.

I don’t mind the delay because I just can’t bring myself to get emotionally worked up over a game delay in this generation. I did side-eye the whole “We could release this, but there would have to be a day one patch and we don’t want to screw over offline players” reasoning though. That could be true, but a simple “We…

No one has done that yet. I think we’re all holding out hope that Simone has an injury free 4 years so that she can dominate in Tokyo 2020.

So I won’t be drunkingly crying during the half-time show...

They’re going to use “I Will Be” during some sad in-game moment to make us all cry.

They have to save the references to older women for the gymnasts that are turning 20 next year.

NBC had a brief insert of Simone Manuel....and they played the clip of her talking about Michael Phelps....

She also finished #1 in the 3 events(Vault, Beam, Floor) that she will be in the event finals for. She did the same during qualifying and during the Team Finals. She’s on track for 5/5.

I was so disappointed when I realized Awkwafina was a real person and not just Jezebel referring to Aisha Tyler by her Bojack Horseman character (Serina Awkwafina).

So all of the “Broken Home/Not her real parents” coverage of Simone is going to start Thursday during the All Around, right? Need to book my ticket to Rio to slap some folks.

That probably pissed me off the most. Outside of the whole 2 per team rule, the haters tried to set it up as Laurie Hernandez vs. Gabby Douglass for All-Around, when it pretty much was a battle (thanks to qualifying rules) between her and Raismen. Biles, because she’s going to win AA, had to do bars. Kocian was…

He’s going to stop shootings at gay nightclubs by driving all the gays back into the closet.

I do the younger hot civil rights lawyer version. I’d do him hard.