Meanwhile Canadian college teams have begun a bidding war over mysterious newcomer Les Kilometers.

He made JeMarcus Russell look like a future Hall of Fame QB. That fact alone speaks volumes about his ability.

You’ve gotta be insane to coach a program in the same division as Saban, yet where the boosters still expect you to contend for a national championship every year. Miles was that insane bastard, and he did just that for almost a decade. Good luck replacing him LSU. You won’t.

I guess Miles accidentally ran out the clock.

Are you okay? Wanna talk it out? We’re here for you, man. Whatever you need.

Kicker? It’s the QB, hence the headline. I know it’s the middle of the night but for fuck’s sake, man, you can do better than that!

Next time a star RB is mulling whether or not to sit out their final college season to protect his draft status and some analyst drone questions his entire moral character and commitment to football, we should just play Leonard Fournette’s 2016 over and over again.

My apologies to Jason Bourne, Bucky Barnes, Ethan Hunt, and every late 90's villain. I guess that IS possible.

Illuminati confirmed

In the brilliant words of Geno Auriemma: “Where do you live? I want to come to your house and see what you do that’s so fucking great.”

Sorry about your marriage. We mostly just focus in on your being terrible at football, though.

“After Clinton trounces Trump in November”

Ted Cruz combines the charisma of a mortician with the political savvy of the kid who wears a suit while running for high school class president.

I’m glad they’re cracking down on hits to the dick instead of dicking down on hits to the crack

Draymond Green innovated and now the government wants to regulate the testicle-smacking market. Unbelievable. Socialism is coming 

Eh, each generation thinks they invented everything.

“What’s your name boy?”

Their fundamental disagreement appears to be whether Kaepernick has freedom of speech, or whether he should literally not answer questions. Basically, the black man should just shut up unless it’s about football. Am i hearing this correctly? And that’s a member of the press, right?

Gotta love how Cohn took over the room by repeatedly insisting that Kaepernick took over the room.

This gave me a reason to like Chip Kelly.