As a parent, I disagree. It is 100% my responsibility to raise my children with the moral and ethical compass calibrated to “don’t assault people.”

No one asked the media to ignore it. But they couldn’t take an hour or two five days out from the Superbowl to cover this press conference?

We call that the “creeping crud”. I get it every year, usually around September or October, and it sucks.

My OB and PCP both insisted I get mine during my pregnancies. I chose to have it done at my PCP office with my Tdap booster so that all my records were in one office. My kids have also had all theirs at that office, which meant putting up with eye rolls when I declined the HepB at the hospital. Since my kids were low…

That fly is ready to sell you a quality used car.

Golden Girls?

I would be ashamed to count such a hateful person as a friend.

Two people with half a brain between them.

Did he not make enough off those Monsters franchise roles? It’s not like he hasn’t had steady work since Roseanne.

I got some buttons in a gift exchange. Some were band logos, some were slogans. I made sure I knew what they represented before I put them on my jacket and wore them out and about.

It’s no consolation, I’m sure, but corporations do the same thing to older employees. Honeywell in particular somehow finds faults in the work of previously exemplary employees right after they turn 50...

Only 36 are for him. The other 36 are for his wife who prefers the vastly superior Charmin.

Is Ft Worth one of those cities where it hardly ever rains, so when you get a mist on the road, it turns into a big oil slick from all the oil that builds up on the road between rains? That is a problem in Phoenix, and despite the reminders on the TV and radio forecasts, we always get idiots that think they can still…

Are you trying to say that Jesus, who sat and taught all who would listen, was anti-education?

You know that passage is less about paying taxes (with coins made in Caesars image) than it is about what to do with the thing made in God’s image, right?

I thought it was Mormon Jesus that wore cotton Dockers. They breathe well, which is so important when you’re wearing your Temple Garments.

I have a coupon for that.

Entitlement: a government program that provides benefits to any individual meeting certain eligibility requirements.

Yeah, I actually figured this out in High School, though THANKFULLY I was never the target for the sexist nerd bullshit, because no one wants to fuck the fat AND nerdy girl.