You do know you can hang out together after work before going straight to fucking in the parking lot?

Maybe you haven’t seen the news lately, but the Pitt/Jolies are maybe not the best example of “coworkers dating, what can go wrong?!”

I have had men confuse me saying, “Good morning!” or “I like that tie!” as flirting with them. I say good morning to my female coworkers. I compliment people on their clothing for selfish motives. It has nothing to do with wanting to grope in the dark supply closet. It has everything to do with getting a little boost…

I have made plenty of friends at work, and two of them I am still in contact with and quite close to and fond of, despite the years and the miles between us since we last hung out in person.

That’s an all mom thing, but I can understand the extra anxiety that might come from bringing up a black man and knowing you’ll have to release him into a world full of people that are itching for a reason to shoot him.

His fiance is the same age as the Olsen twins.

My parents were barely old enough to buy booze when I was born, and neither made it to sixty, so, having kids when you’re young is no guarantee you’ll live long enough to meet all your grandkids.

Work at work is such a hard fucking concept for you, is it? I’m sure you’re working at JPL.

But they’re actually Kevin Malone?

Idiot, they don’t make you buckle up for take off on the rare chance the plane crashes, but because at lift off, they often bank hard left or right, or they can hit turbulence shortly after take off,  and your dumb ass will fall out of your seat and hit the other passengers that are also falling out of their seats.

Rules are not the same as principles. Rules are literally for people that have no principles, and you would understand that if you had principles and weren’t a total knob end.

Is this the sequel to the only financial book anyone ever needs?

You need to spend more time with your wife if you fear falling in love with some other woman. Or maybe you should just leave the marriage now.

I know I always have more confidence in my attorney, surgeon, or architect when I see they keep an open bar during working hours!

Yeah but those people didn’t have a flag, so...

The year I had my daughter, who decided to arrive two weeks before Thanksgiving, and then I also got a lovely infection, my sister in law solved the T-day dilemma of “who will cook?!” by calling Boston Market and reserving a “heat and serve” complete dinner for six.

Her grandfather (and possibly great grandparents on her mother’s side?) WERE pioneers, though.

There already are laws against practicing medicine without a license, and I don’t know why those wouldn’t include administration of tests and interpretation of sonograms.

My last two dentists have both been women, and moms, and well trained —one is a dental educator (professor?) and one was her student and now is also teaching and on multiple boards — and they both required sign off from my OBGYN during my pregnancies in the last trimester before letting me in the chair due to the…

I have two babies I want and planned and I would love to have more kids but, like you, I am on meds that make it dangerous for me and any fetus I might accidentally conceive. I also have to have frequent x-ray and other imaging exposure for yet another health condition (and the treatment, which involves sticking big…