I don’t know if they’re miserable assholes but I definitely feel like I have nothing in common with them, like people who stay in Hard Rock Cafe hotels or all inclusive resorts or who drink shots... I mean, everyone I know who enjoys cruises, well let’s just say they’re not my tribe. I like some of them, but we’re…

“Lard.” As Mrs.Cooper would reply.

No one has ever been able to give me a good explanation of why the benefits of the Greek system outweigh its long (and ongoing!) history of sexism, racism, classism, homophobia, physical violence, and substance abuse (and that’s avoiding the extremely weird “pay for friends” angle).

Europeans invented ice-broom, throwing telephone poles, and horse dancing.

You know, I don’t hate the idea of a Universal Dark Universe and bringing back these old titles that made them as a studio. I just wish that they really took advantage of the opportunity and made truly contemporary versions of these classics. Tap into the original themes and give them to directors who thrive on small…

Somewhere, Nicole Kidman is reading this and cackling.

Ooh, great, yet another Aggrieved White Male with anger management issues and zero control over his emotions. Yeah, we totally need more of THOSE in power.

My gyno once asked me why I didn’t want kids. I didn’t mean to come off bitchy, but I honestly couldn’t think of an answer beyond “Well...I just don’t want them.” Like...do I have to have a long explanation? Why don’t you want an iguana? You just don’t. The iguana is fine over there.

My response to that is that having children IS selfish. Parenting is not. Parenting is selfless- a real sacrifice, and I’m amazed at the people who manage to do it well. But having kids is selfish. There is no non-selfish reason to do it. The world is shit, the kid did not ask to be born into it, and there are…

Pretty sure its people who like things. I mean, they are a very materialistic celebrity clan, and they market themselves as “regular people” with really awesome stuff that they just get somehow, like their money.

My wife is a regular viewer of the programming, and, despite being an otherwise down to earth-y type,…

They traded in Jay Pharoah and Taran Killam, both of whom were amazing, for two of the most generic white dudes imaginable—and those two white dudes are now in every single sketch.

I’ve found shoes that were comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, but they generally fell apart within weeks. I found it better to just spend more money when better quality shoes were on sale when I started working at my current job some years ago.

You can also see where people weren’t that good at making clothes. I have a dress which I think is from the 50s that I got from a vintage shop. There was a whole bunch of them which must have come from one person, and all but the one I bought fit horribly. And even the one I got has a weird pleat at the front which…

Yes. I’m hetero married, and maybe TMI but yeah, I defo tell the Mr if his Handy is OR isn’t making It Happen™ for me, and we continue until I reach at least one satisfaction(same for him!) FUNNY ENOUGH this approach often leads to multiples/additional romps. Communication is sexy!

I have it on good authority that if you touch a woman three times on her elbow, poke her left thigh once, then lick her right earlobe, she squirts.

You say “taxiway”, I say “alternative runway.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On the contrary, lots of rich people came from “nothing” and they love to tell you how they built their business without any handouts. Why, there’s a man who entered the business world with nothing but a (debt free) private education, a million dollar loan, and contacts from his father, now he’s the orangest president…

DC’s best sign:

Trump doesn’t read at all, so there’s no way he can be fluent. I enjoy a game where I decide whether random people on the street are smarter and more qualified to be president than our next president. It’s not much of a game because almost everyone is. Today a homeless man gave me a flower because I “look a bit…

To pen an authentic and intellectual cinema review – the kind worthy of publication in America’s snootiest airport magazine – one must remember to include countless, such as it were, asides and clauses, seemingly without a purpose other than rendering one’s prose an inarticulate gruel of half thoughts, all while…