I really want to sit with a tank full of gasoline right next to my testicles. The idea of a chain spinning at high speed, ready to whip free at any moment, under my ass, seems reasonable. Hot gasses from the engine should escape via a metal tube that conducts heat, right beside my leg.

At least it was just a mattress. If anything bigger furniture wise, that accident would have been sofa king bad.

I have a 85 Honda V65 Sabre. Its 1100cc V4 is just amazing and has a lot of power. Runs smooth and sounds awesome. You better hang on when you go for it. I believe it is rated for something like 2.5sec 0-50, which I totally believe. Plus with the shaft drive the thing is basically indestructible.

Look for an 80s V45 or V65 Sabre or Magna. V4 engine with shaft drive, the best exhaust burble I’ve heard on a bike, and in the case of the V65 more power than you can hang onto.

“Up to X MPG” is actually a pretty common phrase among car manufacturers. It’s how manufacturers refer to their highway mileage, typically, rather than their combined score. Take Jeep for example;