They weren’t close enough to the epicenter to be that scary...

They couldn’t protect a student, but they can spend $60K on pr.  I hope the family bankrupts the school.  

This would really piss off their fanbase:

Ok, so just hear me out.....

Oh, you all think this kid’s face is punchable in that GIF? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

It’s like he’s just getting Momento notes

Every one of his tattoos looks like he got paid on Friday, went out drinking that night, then tossed his last two crumpled twenties on the counter of the dirtiest shop in town and asked “What’ll this get me?”

yeah, i was going to point out how the catcher just sort of casually saunters over to the pitcher to check her out.

+2

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

I remember when I met Goddell in Iraq of all places back eleven years ago. Lets just say that when he shook my hand, it was like a limp wristed phony of a hand shake that he gave me. And I bet ya he wanted to hand me a suspension of a year because I didn’t mouth breath all of the greatness of the NFL.

Say what you want about the Ginger Hammer, but stripping away context, it looks like he gives excellent hugs, as far as these things go.

I’d happily shit on the man’s grave but if he had just told me I’m going to be a multimillionaire I’d probably give him a hug, too.

I’d pay any player at least $2.62 to recreate this photo with Goodell when they get drafted.

When will people realize that you should never yell or threaten violence towards their child whenever they do something wrong? Only their kids college coaches should be allowed to do that.

He might prefer Michael “Nuke The Gays” Priefer - this is a good point.

Jesus I’m going to miss America.

Hope you don’t carry your dog with you then.

Secretary Bird or GTFO.

I had my favorite Hawaiian shirt on, and I know that was you.