Look, Deadspin isn’t going to hire you.

Second one was the best. Scrambled back across goal, guessed right and dove in desperation, realized that the ball was going left so he threw his foot up and blocked it. Brilliant.

Best exit strategy you’ll ever see:

He was at 108 pitches, has had all sorts of arm and velocity issues over the first part of the season. I’m fine with his coming out after 7. Going for the record would have been amazing, but I fully understand his coming out.

Yup. It’s disappointing that this outcome would have been extremely less likely for a defendant without the wealth and power of Kraft, but it’s the proper outcome under the 4th Amendment.

Call me crazy, but this seems like a bad place to locate an arrow-straight 92.5 MPH four-seam fastball.

Or...
Other Hiker: I’m Dances-With-Bears, what’s your name?
Me: Paul
Other Hike: /rolls eyes. I mean your trail name.
Me: Oh. Paul

The worst part for the store is that to pay for repairs it might have to stay open until, like, 1:45 or 2 pm. Upscale yoga retail isn’t for the weak.

Well, Kraft's defense team probably just got everyone a pass.

Whomst among us is below an afternoon with friends raiding a yoga studio, destroying some shit, stealing, laughing, returning the very next day to do some more of the same? Buddy, I’m not. That’s like a Wednesday at 11 am.

I was troubled about how the police had gathered this evidence, so it’s a relief that if I had been ensnared in this sting, my public defender could have got me off.  There is justice in this world.

I think Pierce got dunked on for the Wade thing because of how quickly and confidently he said he was the better player. I think if he’d hedged a little bit or been slightly more humble, maybe said something like “I wouldn’t trade my career for anyone’s,” he would’ve gotten a fraction of the grief. For the record I…

I remember playing it in middle school/high school. I’m 41. It became more popular after being on Malcolm in the Middle:

That’s literally not what the problem says, but ok.

Kimbark went on to say in the sworn affidavit that Spiro’s actions prevented the officer from swearing under oath that he had never made the “make shit up” comment, even though he knew he would never say that, because Spiro told him that he had the video.

None of the coaches from either team went through the line. They shook hands amicably with each other by the benches. 

Eleventh-hour settlements, either just before trial or just before verdict, aren’t at all uncommon in civil litigation. Given Kessler’s cordial statements, I’d guess he was simply bought off, if not with cash, then with some sort of business deal. Maybe tempered with some sort of threat about ever working in this town.

Calling a wildly popular show like The Office a cult classic is ridiculous.

“Little girl! Hey I don't mean to sound like a creep, but would you get in the car with me and my buddy? I've got Corn Nuts."

My favorite line was when Barry, surveying that room full of Taekwondo awards, and realizing the deep shit he’s in, turns around and says “Oh you’ve got medals too!”