Actually, you don’t even need it for tuna salad! The Italians make some with oil-packed tuna, lemon juice, capers, salt and pepper, chopped parsley and, optionally, canellini beans and chopped celery. It requires a mental reframing, but it’s really good. Also works well with Trader Joe’s Smoked Trout instead of tuna.

If it has no sauce, can it really be called pizza?

No.  

Where is this man’s occipital lobe? Not to skull shame, but if part of your brain is missing are you truly responsible for being a polical anal wart for 50 years?

In the eternal words of Biff Tannen, make like a tree and get outta here.

I would think ass would have the most right to talk shit, anatomically speaking  

That’s more a punishment than anything. 

His was more of the, “Smuggled Chinese immigrant forced smile penis massage,” than his friend’s, which was along the lines of, “Smuggled Thai immigrant bitter smile penis massage.”

Undercover Cop: would you like a happy ending?

Then I was told my tip (15%) was too small.

Not to mention the air quality hit taken after I eat my 7 bean chili.

Please start said hardcore band just to beat up those Barstool pop punk dick bags. 

Just you wait. You'll turn into a gay pedophile before too long. And even worse, you'll come around on soccer after that. 

Taste is subjective I guess. Vinegar is just such a base component of so many great sauces and sides, I can’t imagine cutting myself off from it. Most Asian sauces, Barbecue sauce, coleslaw, pickles of all kinds, an entire family of salad dressing are nothing without vinegar.

Still to spicy for some. They simply relate a third hand story about someone who briefly looked at a bell pepper at a Whole Foods. 

This phone goes to 11 Gs.

I wasn’t pushing you away, I was pulling me toward myself

You can’t un-fry things, Jerri.

But I thought Tucker loved it when leftists came on his show to speak their truth. This clip indicates that maybe he doesn’t?

I used to hate tomatoes. I still do, but I used to too. 

Some of the parts that made me laugh the most where when they weren’t destroying their bodies, though. Like when Johnny pretended to be blind and got in a car and started driving it with his cane out the window.