“My husband can’t throw and catch the ball at the same time” -Gisele

Fuck you. Every goddamn one of them is an imbecile, interested only in how much money they can make with Donny Dipshit as POTUS. They care nothing for American people or the country itself...only the $$$ they can amass in the current situation. Trump lives by the credo “never give a sucker an even break” and he…

You can crush their dreams in GIF form:

One thing is for sure, no one in the Trump family read or understood the memo.

You don’t have to be charged with anything to have a FISA warrant issued against you, it however only has continuation if information gained from the warrant justifies it. The FBI wasn’t trying to catch out his criminality by surveilling him, they were using him to find out info on “someone else”.

I wish only Dratch and Fey did the accents. The others were atrocious. Kenan was literally doing an Australian accent.

Most concise award:

And they’re usually the same people who bitch about how expensive everything is, how they tied onions to their belts and 5 bees to a quarter.

I have a friend that has held almost every job there is in the restaurant business, and he’s the one that clued me in to it. He also taught me that if you ever order a steak well done, it’s going into the deep fryer for a few minutes before hitting the grill because A)They don’t have the time for a steak to cook to…

Actually they DID leave him alone with the memo for several hours, so he could totally really read & digest it. That’s the hilarious part!! Its 3 pages, he had hours to read it, and this was still his takeaway. Proving, once again, that (a) Trump can’t read, and (b) he already has his wishful thinking lined up, so…

Did you read the article? It very clearly states that the rule hasn’t gone into effect yet, and the Senate will have 60 days to override the ruling.

You need to stop insisting on shallots as restaurant’s secret ingredients. It is butter, butter, and more butter.

You are aware, I’m sure, that net immigration of Mexicans to the U.S. has been negative for a good while now? Of course you are.

Christianity and other forms of magical thinking have taught people how to maintain wildly irrational points of view; and be otherwise rational in their day-to-day activities (like burning fossil fuels while refusing to believe that fossils themselves exist)

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy…

If it makes you feel any better, I knew all five however would have most likely whiffed on every other question in the game.

I’m not even that big into football, and I know a lot of trivial information. However it’s largely on specific topics. So while I know a bit about football (and hockey!), I have nowhere near…

I often drive 200 meters off the road into thick sand when I have a mechanical problem.

Is it? Civic engagement is important but the SOTU has been dumb political propaganda for decades. Nobody who didn’t watch that pile of garbage on Tuesday missed anything that couldn’t be gathered by reading the Times and the Post on Wednesday.

If that what they truly want, they can have it, but they have to have all of it. So no Cable News, no modern cardio/erectile dysfunction/anti-depressant meds or painkillers, and they must all receive a mandatory injection of the Polio virus. This is all or nothing, no picking and choosing bullshit.  

This whole dust-up is making me laugh. It all publicly starts with an outrageous dust-up over an agent texting snark back and forth with a mistress lawyer about Trump as he’s doing his god damn job. But what is that agent? A dog with a bone? It’s come out that in the whole mess of 2016 his bone was Clinton’s server…