Taco Time’s medium salsa is actually pretty good for a fast food joint. You can actually taste the fire-roasted tomatoes and cilantro. 

I’m coming to the party a little late, but one thing I do for bratwurst is cook an onion down in a pan, then add some kraut and caraway seed. I have to start adding diced onion on top of the onion/kraut reduction because this now needs two (TWO!) types of onions! 

4 out of 10? Taco Bell’s spiciest sauce is a solid 1 compared to some sauces that are actually meant to be consumed and not used as a weapon. 

I think I “found out” about spiciness the same way. At some point before I turned ten, I accidentally got some spicy mustard on my BBQ pork and it whooped me upside the head. It was an unpleasant experience at the time, but it didn’t stop me from becoming familiar with pickled peppers and hot sauce/salsa. On my 12th bi…

Another version:

Time is money, dude! 

The issue with pre-slicing tomatoes and storing them in a fridge is that tomatoes aren’t supposed to be put into a cold environment. When a tomato gets cool, it becomes mealy and loses some of its flavor compounds, resulting in the kind of tomato that turned me away from eating the damned fruit for the first 27 years…

Does this idiot actually believe that individuals are smuggling huge amounts of drugs across unsecured areas of the border? Even with the risk of getting caught, it’s much more feasible to try to get as much contraband past a single port of entry in one trip. It’s not like the cartels are giving each potential crosser…

We should all be on the lookout for one of these:

Thanks for ruining cheesy mashed potatoes for me. I will now no longer be able to separate a tasty meal of mashed tubers from the words of a drooling, senile goober.

Country gravy with chicken tenders is mighty fine, but let me go on record with my support of au jus gravy with chicken tenders and fries. I don’t understand the bad rap ketchup’s gotten. I would never use ketchup on a steak but barring the absence of something better, it’s perfectly acceptable to use for most…

They could find a happy medium and change the state food to barbacoa. 

I will only eat nachos made with melted shredded cheese. Runny cheese has no ability to blanket the toppings and “lock” them into place. Also, the structural integrity of the shredded cheese stays intact when paired up with a copious amount of hot sauce or salsa.

I actually had a TV that responded well to light assault. The V-hold would get all outta whack and the picture on the screen would start jumping up and down. Somehow I found out that a couple of knocks to the top of the TV set would restore the picture until the next time the picture decided to resemble the wheel on Th…

There’s a 90% chance the pee tape comes up in the report. That has to be why Barr included the provision about redacting any potentially embarrassing references to “third” parties that the report makes.

Foster’s is strine for baby formula.

If the wildlife doesn’t get ya, the bogans definitely will. 

I think once people heard about the weather in Australia, they started committing transferable penalties just to get the hell away from Great Britain’s oh-not-so-fabulous weather.

I kept on hearing about this “punk group” called Pussy Riot so I listened to one song on Youtube and it sounded like fucking hip-hop. When I hear punk used to describe music, I think of the hardcore acts from the 80's and the 70's punk from the US and UK. I’m afraid Pussy Riot is just a positive message lost in the dep…

I believe tomatoes have the highest amount of naturally occurring glutamates of any fruit/vegetable, so it would make sense to pair them with the savory and salty hit of fish sauce. Not too long ago, I made a pizza with a sauce that contained one anchovy and there turned out to be one random spot on the pizza that had…