Well, Trump is a giant pussy. I doubt he’s a cat person though.

For every name you’ve listed, there are innumerable examples of people making less than ideal lifestyle choices and paying a price for it; people like you and I just don’t hear about those people because they got to die in anonymity. The reason why we have evidence of some people living especially long lives rich…

Are we sure this guy isn’t actually a left-winger sent to make the alt-right look really fucking bad? 

It’s Texas during baseball season, that thing’ll be fully cooked by the time it makes it back to the seat.

One of my little rules for things like burgers and sandwiches is I should be able to get a taste of just about every component present with each bite. Hot dogs break this rule because I don’t eat them straight-on, I turn them sideways, leaving me to take one bite from the top where most of the condiments reside and…

What about Zucchini? I’ve had fresh Zucchini straight from the plant leave a snail trail on the cutting board.

Punk wasn’t just a political movement, it was also a sonic backlash to the kind of bloated prog/psych rock that was gaining momentum during the early 70's and more of a continuation of the garage rock from the mid 60's. The themes present in punk aren’t even entirely unique to the genre either, and certainly not any…

I made a whole wheat burrito with chorizo and eggs that was actually pretty good.

You should tell Putin that having money and power can’t change the fact that he looks like his immediate family tree contains some kind of furry, weaselly, four-legged mammal. Superior genes, my ass. Why would anyone follow that guy into battle?

“It’s time for Star Wars to end.”

I also have a distaste for words with superfluous U’s.

I hate the word dollop because I associate it with the usage of sour cream, which is just nasty, vile stuff. I hate sour cream about as much as Drew Magary hates Mayonnaise. 

The joke’s on you, Drew would never be caught dead with those little packets of mayo on hand. That’s just what BIG MAYO would want you to think. 

In other news, I got stuck out in the woods for five days and a billion dollars saved my life!

I think my most consumed shade of toast is demurred resignation over the hunk of charred carbon I’ve just created. I prefer my toast to have some darkness but without the strong “burnt” aroma associated with the darker shades on the bottom right. In my toaster oven, the toast goes from the Goldilocks zone to scorched…

He could build a lift on that thing and charge people five bucks to ski down it.

I make a similar sauce of random dried chile origins, but I omit onion and add fresh garlic and dried chipotles. The chipotles don’t really break down like the other chiles do, so I remove them before blending, much like the bay leaf.

It seems like Tucker basically had no retort for being called a billionaire’s millionaire. He knows who butters his bread and he isn’t about to risk being deloused from his overlords.

This is the show that debuted the inimitably cute Maria Thayer to the world. For that I am grateful.

Not only have those people had contact, but just about everyone has lied about said contact. They knew what they did wasn’t on the level otherwise they’d be truthful about what they were doing.