I think you may have been a little too subtle in conveying your meaning. I would like to see some explicit scenarios listed as well. Only a particularly macabre demise can assuage how I feel at this point.

This will never not get a star from me. Now I have to search the contents of my fridge for some beef beef beef beef baloney.

What in the name of fuck is he talking about?

You really don’t get it, do you?

I don’t really understand his intentions. He’s either a bigot or he’s playing one for attention. Neither are good indicators of a sound mind.

I always figured I’d get ungreyed for making a particularly funny dick joke. It turns out all I had to do was list what condiments I prefer with my weiners.

The last thing I wanted to engage in today is a Waldo-like game of find the phallus...

Unrelated to the video I posted, but I actually did a cover of the original version of Forming not too long ago. It’s about as uncomplicated as one would expect from a bunch of teen aged non-prodigies so I was able to nail it.

If you’re willing to stretch meanings, they can both at the same time.

I hope so, I can still beat Jesus Montero in a footrace.

The only time weed ever made me puke came courtesy of a gravity bong. I’m surprised I didn’t fall down and hit my head during my feeble attempts to walk during that head trip.

He’s currently undergoing a Schrödinger’s CATscan.

Chris Snelling, the Aussie who was supposed to be but never was.

the degree to which ESPN should be political

I know people are trying to compare this situation to the one[s] that lead up to the firing of Curt Schilling. They claim that ESPN isn’t being consistent with discipline but Schilling made controversial statements multiple times and when he was told not to cross the line again, he went and did so anyway. ESPN…

Alright Beaver Cleaver, let’s make a deal. If the white right promises to fuck right off starting no later than midnight of September 18, we’ll gladly stand down. Oh, wait, you’re not going to do that are you? It seems as if we’re at an impass here.

ASU is the Rob Gronkowski of PAC-12 schools.

We need to hold hip-hop demolition day and put it out to pasture so it can hang out with disco - it’s superior ancestor - for all of eternity. The genre’s been taking on water for the better part of a decade and advances in music production technology have only served to make the highly visible popular side of the…

You can say that he went up to meet The Girl Who Lives On Heaven Hill.

Midwesterners would mistakenly use a slice of NY-style as a napkin - it’s certainly hard enough to differentiate between the two.