Yes, Christian went — he went about four fingers deep. He went a little too far. But when I’m just messing with somebody, poking them in the belly button or grabbing someone’s butt, it’s just to break up the seriousness of the game. The people who are freaking out about that have never played the game, or were…

He’s right. Back in high school, we’d sometimes break up the seriousness of the game with a quick finger up someone’s ass, or if it was one of your best friends on the team, maybe a quick dick sucking. Just guys messing around, you know? Nothing tells a teammate “job well done” like a good fist. Y’all nerds wouldn’t…

Many Southerners are pleased to see a Christian keeping up the tradition of the holiday goose.

Jesus you even muffed your come back.

Clinton 65,844,954

Given Trump’s post-election actions, I’m sure they feel as dumb as we think they are.

Also, Prescott would not have been playing behind one of the best O-Lines in football and handing the ball off to the rookie of the year (also related to that Offensive line) in San Francisco.

I like it. But I’m subtracting half a point because, as a lady Deadspinner, I’m probably one of the only people here who knows that Tampax only makes tampons, not pads. If you had said Always or Kotex it would have been perfect. Pure poetry.

“I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious”

Yeah good use of time for the local police.

Think for a second. Think about how egotistical you need to be to start the season as QB, have your shoulder explode around week 2, not come back until the end, see your team go 1-15 and think “heh, nailed it.”

Bill Bellichik. He is just a system coach.

Barry. Switzer.

They played the wrong accompaniment. She was expecting to lip sync the whole thing but on “Emotions” they played a backing track that was for semi-lip-sync situations, in which she sings most of the song but lip syncs the high notes. She was not about to attempt actually singing that song.

The resemblance is uncanny in more ways than one.

Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

How does leaving the tree outside for 24 hours help? Hasn’t the tree been out in the cold all along?

No I’ve bought my tree there. But it was a bad tree. When you buy precut ones, you gamble with a tree that may die soon.

Tired of all the spiders in the real one?

Wait - who goes to such crazy lengths to buy trees? I bought a real tree at Home Depot. It’s 7 feet tall and only cost $40.