Still not as impressive as what JaMarcus Russell consumes on a daily basis, though to be fair there isn’t a single mention of “purple” anywhere in Bjornsson’s list.

What’s funny is that Schilling shared a meme essentially calling Kobe soft for retiring after 20 seasons. Schilling pitched in 20 major league seasons (and the first one was a September callup).

Man, hockey fans, get a grip. Old dudes and injured guys being able to play your sport at the highest level is not a sign of toughness. It just means you don’t need to be athletic to play hockey.

What’s so scary, Barry? If he goes off the edge he’s just going to hover.

Let’s cut the guy some slack on his day off. It’s not easy being a St. Louis policeman.

When the back-up lights went on I spit milk out my nose.

Manziel threw a 48-hour rager in a rented L.A. mansion that caused $20,000 worth of damage

+1, but I feel like shit for it.

“We’re going to build a wall. And we’re going to make the Dodgers pay for it.”
- Rockies owner

I guess you could say that fence is so tall, it’s two Story’s.

Well that was quick...

Miller’s response was much better than that of the Tennessee mother who, on seeing the picture, claimed Newton got her wet.

Asked after the game why he didn’t dive for the loose ball, Cam said he’s still working on his cannonball.

I have no problem with legitimate issues. Pressing a power button just seems like something everyone should have learned how to do within the last 20 years. Excel and Outlook problems? Great, lemme help. Network issues? I’ve got you. Pressing one button? Dude, c’mon.

I can start a fucking car. Or replace the battery, change a flat tire, swap a fuse, replace a head/tail light bulb, etc. Simple shit is easy. If I’m going to a mechanic it’s something intensive like brakes, the engine, air conditioner, etc.

I see quite a few men wearing socks and sandals around the office. I can’t say anything to them because they’re coworkers or clients but I did call out some probable teenaged intern in an elevator one day. The doors opened, I look up from my phone and there he is with another guy and he’s wearing socks with sandals. I…

I remember telling my mother that I was thinking of ditching Computer Science for a History degree. I could become a history teacher, I thought. She said I wouldn’t want to be a teacher because I don’t do well around stupid people. So I stuck with CompSci and now I work in IT where I regularly help people so stupid…

Better yet, don’t have a gun.

I guess you can say...

Hey Trump, take note. Walls always lose.