Impaired driving is impaired driving. I don’t care if it’s booze, Percocet or anything else - if you are even slightly impaired, don’t get behind the wheel.

This. She was a fucking *mechanic* and military truck driver during WWII while she was still a princess. This has always been my favorite bit of trivia about her.

Of course they wouldn’t attack Canadians. They’re alpha predators, not assholes.

“I don’t want to be associated with a man who puts his party before his country.”

That shit will straight up eat your brain.

Abby Lee Miller has big dreams for her life post-prions

You okay, man? Can you smile for me, close your eyes and raise your arms?

I love the idea of a beach called Dr. Beach. It’s kind of like Boaty McBoatface. My city just bought some new ferries and my office let a bunch of 2nd graders pick the names - it was adorable. One is named “Lunchbox”

Only one comment: I do not understand the attraction of nails of that length.

Phew, thank god we don’t have that accomplished gracious black lady deplaning Air Force One dressed in shorts, according to my conservative relative, that was directly a part of Obama humiliating us on the world’s stage. I’m not sure how this FOX News wet dream of a presidency ends, but it will be bizarre and awful…

Does this mean we can start kicking Jews and coloreds out of our business establishments?

There is a 0% chance that 45 doesn’t say something totally insane, even for him, on this trip. It is going to be long, boring, and he won’t be able to go golfing. He is going to be grouchy as a baby on a roadtrip with a dirty diaper.

This is brilliant and amazing. You keep outdoing yourself with your introspective masterpieces, I think this is the best one yet!

I can’t help but think that the whole corrupt bunch of GOP lick-spittles in Congress will manage to side-step all of this. They lie, they irreparably harm our country, but as long as they can get a FauxNews gig or a cushy lobbyist job at some point after retiring, the country can go crap in a bag. These “patriots” and…

Mitch’s Wikipedia page was temporarily changed to replace human references to turtle. His high school years were described as his family moved to Kentucky as a teenaged mutant ninja turtle.

Interesting. I have no real take on this. My background is in english lit, philosophy, and physics. BUT, I would guess, that as soon as he’s out they will will welcome someone trustworthy and adversarial in the truest sense.

I’m all for investigating and prosecuting all these scumbags. But I’m starting to worry about the weakness that this is going create for us geopolitically. This stuff’s gonna take some time to sort through. The rest of the world’s going to take advantage of that. We’re so fucked.

I had to meet with him on occasion about five years ago for work. I hate him in a very special way.

But who would you like to see cry on camera the most? For me it’s definitely Mitch McConnel, his face would look so weird.

I seriously most earnestly hope this throws everything from here on out. Pence knew. McConnell knew. Ryan knew that this was a flaming corporate cess fire that was heading straight for our actual lives.