"Actually, if the grass is greener on the other side, you need to flip the sod over"

It's not late, it's just been percolating.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is that God is crying. And if he asks why God is crying, I think another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."

Every time I read a Jaden tweet, this pops into my mind.

It's used to treat pelvic organ prolapses. I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago, and am having to take everything very, very slow and cautious because stuff can straight up fall out of my vagina at this point, and they would end up using transvaginal/pelvic mesh as a way to put everything back in to place.

I have zero feelings about Christopher Plummer.

Let's be honest, Julie Andrews is the only reason to watch the movie.

CLIMB EV'RY MOUNTAAAAAAAAAAAIN, FORD EV'RY STREAM, FOLLOW EV'RY RAINBOOOOOOOW, TILLLLLLL YOUUUUUUUUU FIND YOUR DREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

"I have confidence in EVERYTHING, mothafuckaaas!" That is seriously the BEST gif I have ever seen, and would like to make it part of my email signature at work.

Hey kid, um, maybe skip the first couple of your dad's records if you haven't heard them already.

I wish I had just learned that. Unfortunately, I knew he had a daughter, because he included a clip of her singing in "Bonnie & Clyde", in which he waxes philosophical about murdering her mother.

Just because we're old doesn't mean that we can't keep learning/growing as individuals.

For example, I just learned that Eminem had a daughter.

My due date is in a week, and my sister just gifted us a bunch of Honest diapers. I hope they're worth the money she spent on them, because I just looked up the price, and holy shit!

This isn't the first lawsuit she's filed over (alleged) trademark infringement. A year or two back she got into a kerfuffle with The Honest Toddler which is a really hilarious blog & twitter feed. Apparently THT was fortunate to have copyrighted the name beforehand and did regularly tweet about the negotiations.

Um, I don't know Colin, let me tell you a story about a stubborn young girl who hated sports and didn't like learning about things that she hated

I'm assuming the people who prefer 'Guys Who Take Their Dicks Out On The Subway' over 'Binge Watching' are the actual guys who take their dicks out on the subway?

i just want to say right now that i love every single one of you who voted for meetings

Can't we argue that binge-watching is barely on the IRL side here?