what do they expect me to do at work now?! ACTUAL WORK?

A plague on both your houses.

I can’t feel no fat when I touch you

In defense of caps like the pink leather one - I know this guy who wears them a lot, though not in pink leather. He has a terrific sense of style, I trust his fashion sense over my own. He looks amazing in these caps and other hats and gets tons of compliments. OK I may be a little biased because I am his dad and he’s…

One of my offspring as a weeping angel.

I spent six years doing Alzheimer’s-focused neuro research, most of which focused on drug efficacy, and I’ve gotten to see tons of people in your exact situation so first things first, you aren’t alone by any stretch (even though caregiving can get SO lonely). I have some tips which you should obviously feel free to…

We may never be ungreyed, which is the spookiest tale of them all.

After this week, my only advice is:

TBH, I’d be totally down for the fake belly bump because I love looking ridiculous (except for last night in my law class when I involuntarily farted and everyone around me could hear it; at least it didn’t smell).

What the hell? The police dog probably bit the officer in his way of saying this whole thing was stupid and here’s his two weeks.

You cannot, actually, take your baby wherever the fuck you want. Including most workplaces. Including many social events. You cannot take your baby to jury duty. You cannot take your baby to someone else’s party unless you receive permission. You cannot take your baby to your law school clinic. You cannot take your…

Exactly. I agree that the childcare situation in this country is sad and we need better options for working-class women. I even agree that employers should be flexible about children in the workplace in emergency situations.

I just came here to say that I showed this article to my husband, who takes his coffee black. His response: is this psychopathic? *fart*

Is THAT what the Avril song was about? “So much for [your] happy ending”

As someone who spends a lot of time in a courtroom, she was acting like a judge. Judges aren't social workers.

Ok fine, but does anyone know where I can get a pair of those tightrope walking shoes?

- “Spending the Weekend on the Couch in My Underwear Browsing the Internet Mindlessly: The Motion Picture.”

The butt belonged to a very obvious body double for Matt Damon. I wanna say “sadly,” but I'm not sure I had a huge desire to see his butt in the first place?

The only reason I specifically wanted a diamond is because I could literally wear it with anything. I don’t like changing my jewelry, so I wear the same plain silver necklace every single day, the same silver and white watch every single day, and the same wedding ring every single day. They all match everything.…

Well, yes, we’re very cute. But we were just two dopes in a bar. So we didn’t meet in a particularly cute way.