where’s Charlie Batch? I know a team out there is looking for that kind of veteran presence

Primanti’s fucking sucks. never have I been so underwhelmed by something that got so hyped.

Stop being presumptious. Shannon Sharpe was only found near the scene of a dunking, with a guy in his entourage hanging on the rim.

Lol’d at “Isn’t that where they keep the runway?” What an awesome line!

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

I blackout about once or twice every two years (is that bad?) but I have never been so fucked up that I thought I was on a different coast. Does this guy have to be the best at everything?

Dat’s a one spicy a-meatballah!

Is this a drug ignorance joke or a fat joke? I’m going on the assumption that it’s a fat joke. I’ve seen the Dawg Pound on TV.

“Pffttt! Been fired more times than Sabrina, but I am still here.”

“Don’t make me buy a ladder and come up there to whoop your ass!”

When you are truly happy for another’s good fortune

Article One, Section 5 of the United States Constitution: “Each House may determine the rules of its proceedings...”

Well that’s a legitimate point, isn’t it. Except it wasn’t the founders who made that rule.

Patient: I didn’t plan on getting cancer, but cigarettes are so tasty, and I ignored the “may cause cancer” warning label. I didn’t think doing the wrong thing would ever catch up to me.

Looks like a dead asshole to me.

Correct. They use the term “oriental” to describe people from the Far East, a term that has negative connotations in the US.

To be fair, in the UK, most people of Middle Eastern descent are referred to by ethnicity as Asian, which is entirely different to the US definition.

In the UK, “Asian” is often used to describe someone from India or Pakistan. That could be the confusion.

Yup, he’s a white male.

Harbaugh: Twitter is a great resource for recruiting, especially when it comes to offensive linemen. You wouldn’t believe how many people are looking for a RT on there.