Wait, this guy honestly couldn't hear how "I want to watch for your car with a gun" might not be the best pickup line???

I wish I had read this several days ago... the messages have gone slightly off the rails and I fear that the closer we get to NYE the farther off the rails we are all going to go. A sensible, mature person would close the account, grab a bottle of rum and hunker down. I have been accused of none of those things, ever…

Groan...I ran into every single one of these when I was on OKC. The one that really cracked me up was the "stuck-up artist". He actually read my profile and then sent me a very long letter explaining to me that everything I'm into is bullshit, I'm a phoney, a poser, not very bright ect...then he asked for my phone…

Thanks for the addition:

The Unrealistic Demander: only dates guys who work in the city, own a beach house and/or boat or make over six figures.

Ok, so this example didn't happen online, but I have had the online equivalent happen several times in the past.

On an airplane, a guy across the aisle from me tried to start a conversation based on the subject matter of what he saw me reading. He immediately worked his resume and "credentials" into his end of the…

Wait, are you trying to tell me that women on the internet are real and should be treated as such instead of like prostitutes in a video game?

The algorithm would then eventually become Skynet, take control of the world's satellites and drone forces and "screen" all of the douchebags out of existence due to an Asimovian "protect humanity" mistranslation. The resulting carbon and methane footprint increase from that much decomposition would lead to global…

I am available for the mere sum of $15/hour to answer your shitty online dating emails. That $15 gets you plenty of snark and the ability to dick punch a dude via the internet.

And I am suddenly cured of that holiday-loneliness-based desire to go back on OKC.

Whoever figures out how to screen for these assholes on a dating site (maybe some type of super-intelligent, "oh god is it Skynet?" level of screening algorithm) is going to make a trillion dollars.

If her living will dictates that she be taken off life support, or if her next of kin dictates that in the absence of a living will, then she should be taken off life support regardless of whether she's pregnant. If you believe anything other than that, then you are not pro-choice by any stretch of the imagination.

The family wanted to take her off life support. It's heartless that the government interfered with that. You claim to be pro choice, but it seems like every time there's an article about the subject of abortion, you're more sympathetic to the anti choice side.

Not even just that, think of the psychological number it will do on her partner having to raise a kid that they kept his dead girlfriend alive just to incubate.

I wish I could say this was a little victory, but if the only reason they're doing it is because the child can't survive, then there's really no victory here.

It depends on how strictly kosher someone is. I had a boss who had separate dishes in our work kitchen for food (and once caught an unknowing coworker about to put a piece of sausage pizza on one and literally jumped over a box to stop her). Some have entire KITCHENS that are meat and milk separated. Other Jews…

One of the best things my mom ever gave me is the gift of answering rude questions with rude questions of my own. They want to know why you're not married yet. Ask them 1)why haven't they lost any weight yet. 2)If their husband is still violent. 3)did little Johnny end up failing like you said he was, or did he scrape…

I was never asked that. My relatives just act surprised that I am not panhandling on a street corner. That is how lowly they think of me.

And once you have a baby, the relatives ask "so when are you having another one?".

As a librarian, I can assure you that people still ask these weird things.