I’m currently dating a male version of Nola (minus the dinner...he’d probably have a heart attack if all of us were in the same place at the same time) and he identifies as solo poly. He has multiple long term partners without having a primary. He’s not interested in talking to any of us about the others. Each…

I see you, Bette Midler. I was drugged - I think maybe GHB - by a classmate in law school. We were at a party and I had a one glass of wine. All of a sudden I was really out of it, and we ended up in a cab together. I blacked out in that I couldn’t see anything, like my vision was gone. He had to go in my wallet to…

Over the summer, I went on a date with a former HBO producer. I mentioned that I’d seen Jeremy Piven at the bar we were at and that he lives near my sister, and my date told me on no uncertain terms to stay away from Piven because “he’s a rapist”. He said he’d heard multiple secondhand stories of Piven raping women…

I love Janet Mock and was disappointed the first time I listened to her podcast and discovered that Lena Dunham is the EP of it (and, of course, couldn’t just produce and had to insert her voice into the end of the show).

The first tenet of Lena Dunham’s politics is so ignorant and privilege laden. Just because someone holds you up and fills you with love or whatever doesn’t mean they can’t be a rapist, or racist, or otherwise do terrible and/or oppressive things.

This is one of the most open “open secrets” out there and it’s *old*. I was a freshman in college in 1999 and Space had a rep of “mentoring” 18 year old boys from our theater department and then tossing them aside when he was done fucking them. He seemed to take a lot of pleasure in building them up, flying them…

Um, so she’s not even legal and he’s “not sure how he feels” about it? Is this not just a movie about statutory rape and a girl who needs some therapy, then?

No, but any therapist worth their salt should follow a harm reduction model when working with issues of self-harm, addiction, disordered eating, etc. Telling someone “no, that’s bad, stop” doesn’t do any good.

The idea that any activity that causes or has the potential to cause harm to your body is something that needs to be interrogated is deeply flawed. What about body piercing? Extreme sports? Things adrenaline junkies are into, like sky diving or bungee jumping or driving too fast down an open road? What about eating…

Ha! Compromise can be ok but no one should do anything they truly aren’t into. I have some must haves but my take it or leave it list is much longer.

I don’t disagree that a lot of creeps hide out in the bdsm/kink and poly communities and some of those identify as dominant. There are also plenty of creeps who identify as submissive - most of the consent violations I’ve experienced in kinky spaces has been by those kinds of men. There are definitely men who use the…

Just wanted to say thanks for using sex worker instead of the myriad other words that end up in articles like these!

I’m someone who likes rough stuff and went to therapy in part because I felt like a freak because some men I was with told me I was broken/gross/not a real feminist. I struggled for years to deny the things I wanted, even though it comes from a place of fun and adventure, and I’ve had some very healthy, positive…

I work for myself and my clients need a lot of emotional labor from me, so work absolutely wouldn’t be the right place for me to have social connections. Is it really that much of the right place for most people? The times I’ve worked in offices it didn’t seem like the right place to be building a social network.

Cool, cool. A portion of the ticket sales will go to SWOP and/or decriminalization efforts, right? No?

I think it’s still staying open until October 1st (Netflix said it was ok to keep it open until then).

I agree that Woods wouldn’t care if the two characters weren’t guys - and that age differences in gay relationships, especially during more closeted times, is a more complicated conversation. I live in a state where the age of consent is 17 and went to college with a lot of 17 year olds, so that split doesn’t seem…

Taraji is the real deal. When she’s shooting Empire she’s sometimes in Chicago. She was here a few months ago and paid a low key visit to a drop in center for LGBTQ youth. And it wasn’t a performative, media attention thing. The folks I know there said she is very real and an absolute delight.

High fives on that! I’m buying a condo with a washing machine/dryer and I can’t even get over it. I can do laundry without a mouse and/or roach running past me! We’ve made it for sure.

Thank you for this! It is great and smart advice.