Had a friend whose boyfriend did the eat half a meal thing, then demanded a second dish in a Chinese takeout place as a replacement as the first was defective. His reasoning was that the dish had been prepared differently when he'd had it in a different restaurant. He threatened to call the Better Business Bureau. …

I knew a guy in college that latched on to my friend group. Immediately upon meeting him through my then boyfriend, he told me several stories in succession about how rich and cool he was. He told me how his family had a wing of their enormous house that was just an art gallery for their crazy expensive art. He went…

I vomited for seven months straight in my pregnancy. I will Never Forget a man saying to me "Oh man my wife would be so jealous of you. She felt so nauseous but COULDNT vomit, she really wished she could have."

OMG. Great username!

That is wonderful. I despise canvassers. My thing is straight-up ignoring them as if they are ghosts desperate to make contact with the living world, but no one hears them.

Those managers are enemabags. So is anyone who gets snotty about pregnant women trying to exist while being pregnant.

TLo suggested they had his cue cards on a Roomba, and that explained his lack of focus anywhere near the camera.

And that's the genius of the joke, it plays both ways equally well. Like a picture of a vase that turns into two heads who are actually rapists.

I have wanted an otter baby for years now. It would be a perfect pet. I would have it perched around my neck to keep me warm and they are nice and long so I can cuddle them like a body pillow. I also want to tickle its flipper feet. It can also fetch me fish. What a great pet!

Wait Wait Don't Tell me and This American Life (which spawned Serial and of which the first Serial podcast was an original episode that I listened to in my car live) are National Public Radio programs that have been around since the 90s. These aren't new, hip phenomena. Frankly I'm thrilled that podcasts of these…

I will totally eat another one in the morning! So sorry you're dealing with the nausea, but congrats on 13 weeks!!! I was lucky to not have much nausea past 10 weeks, but I've had to deal with a lot of other not fun stuff during this pregnancy (insufficient cervix and waaaaay too low blood pressure), so I guess it's a…

Yeah, I totally get that. Sorry you got sick! I'm trying to get calories in today at least. Yesterday I cried in whole foods because I only wanted coconut water. It was a disaster, haha

Today I turned into the Nesting Monster! I washed all the baby clothes and blankets, packed my hospital bag, and even secretly scrubbed the bathtub during my shower because HORMONES.

My grandmother always pisses off my mom by saying that she's not thankful because Thanksgiving is her husband's Gregorian yarzheit.

My daughter is 18 months and we're going to start practicing this tonight. I mean, she can already say pizza. What the fuck else does she need to know?

My cousin named her daughter Addison, and I was just like "isn't there an Addison's Disease or am I getting the ergot-flavored Wheat Thins again?"

Get ready for the storm of people who can't tell the difference between thinking something inside your head and actually making arrangements with potential kidnappers and staking out the victim and her house.

I believe Berk was used in season 3 Buffy. That's all I have.

I really want to hug my cat right now, but she's in or behind furniture.

Yeah, but they're not talking to you. They're talking to the people who don't already think that domestic violence is a serious problem. And as badly as the league has fucked this whole thing up, it does no good to shit on something like this PSA. The people involved are helping to raise awareness, and that's a good…