"...Calvin Harris, who makes bleepy-bloopy noises on a laptop professionally..."

I think Taylor and Karlie have established a new upper limit for whiteness... their whole adventure has gotta be at least 8.8 gigahonkies.

SHOCK AFTER SHOCK AFTER SHOCK.

If you want to convince everyone you wrote your own book, it seems like it'd be counterproductive to go on TV and remind everyone that you can't speak your native language.

My husband and I just bought what could be God's gift to mankind - a breakfast sandwich machine. You put all the meat, bread, egg, fillings, whatever into the doohicky, and in five minutes - BAM! SAMMICH, MOTHAFUKKAS. We almost had breakfast sandwiches for dinner, we were so excited.

He's just fucking awful, isn't he? But the thing is that many people IDENTIFY and ENVY that sheer shitty awfulness. Why want to share something with your fellow common man when you can get the opportunity to screw them?

Are these the same people who are scared of "Big Government"?

In response to your article about Miley's album release party: It's her party she can do what she wants.

Jesus H. Fuckdoodles. Our cons are corrupt bigots in Canada, but they sure as shit would be mocked for this kind of crazy. How the fuck does she get away with it? I just don't understand how a person could spout this whoopie-we're-all-gonna-die, microwaved-crayon logic, wild-eyed incoherent apocalypticism, and get…

And I don't even have to feel grumpy to approve of this message.

I've been asking about this and I think the only reason that we don't have year-Fridays is because everyone else doesn't have year-Fridays. If it was the norm, my office would totally be into it. Trying to figure out how to make this the normal business Friday.

eBay - they always have reasonably priced armband things that are a lot cheaper than what you would find in stores.