-feel it-

Ive done my research.

By the time the average American male is 15 he has tried to fuck approximately 27,000 common household items. In that time of vast experimentation one usually finds a few workhorses that stand the test of time.

As a penis haver, if I’m in the shower and need a quick testicular release, that bar of soap is far too complicated. Instead I reach for conditioner and proceed to rough up the suspect. Conditioner stays slick and it makes my penis smell nice afterward, and my wife won’t ask why there’s a fucking hole in a goddamned…

What galls me is that the Dixie Chicks were burned at the stake for saying that they are ashamed that GWB is from Texas, but Ted Nugent and others are calling for Obama and Hillary to be literally killed and that’s totally fine with the Dixie Chicks haters.

“Oh, my god, cover her she’s HIDEOUS!!! Those CURVES, she looks like some regular woman on the street or something! Can somebody, I don’t know, find a tarp to put over her?”

More proof that taxes on the 0.1% are too low.

Salt’s way too spicy for Neiman Marcus’ customer palate.

Is “just the right amount of spices” code for “literal gold”?

No, a kettle goes on the fire/heat. A tea pot is the receptacle for the water that has been heated in the kettle, and where the brewing of the tea happens. In my non-expert opinion. FIGHT ME.

neiman marcus, where the 1% can pay 500% to eat like the 99%.

Tea Kettle... Tea kettle?

Local stud’s affection=Gun-wielding man’s constant gropings and harassment.

“This one tells us that kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome and bestiality are all just fine, as long as the girl finds love in the end.”

Now just imagine this man in a position of actual power. American freedom of the press: July 4, 1776 - January 20, 2017. It’s been a good run.

He definitely wants to get Katy alone in a room with a pocket full of Tic Tacs. I love her reporting on him, you can tell she thinks he’s a lying liar.

And FUCK the school administrators who wouldn’t let that poor little girl put up her homemade anti-bullying posters. Seems like that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

It really pisses me off when people say Jeffrey is gay or Ina is a beard. Why? Because he’s small in stature? Or because she’s overweight and only a gay man would be with her? It’s the same bullshit they say about Steadman and Oprah. Chubby women can get men. Chubby women can have beautiful homes and make tons of…