....hold on spidermonkey.

I still remember being maybe six years old and getting the talk from my mom. Somehow, despite her being incredibly blunt about things, for several years on I thought that a man boiled his garden-grown mystery seed in some kind of clear broth for his lady to drink. And, boom. Baby.

For it to really be family values, she'd have to be white and also only doing it to please her husband.

Nothing could be as bad as that song, but here are some lyrics for Stranglehold. Such a lovely way for him to end a song.

Seriously? He was made a legal guardian for a woman he was dating? I may need to shower for a week...

Yay, Child rape! I mean, Family Values!

I know, I really really really really was hoping Stewart was going to follow up the "crude" comments with the fact that music/musician Mr. "Family Values and Think of the Children" Huckabee was fine with supporting is, in fact, a fucking pedo. Think of the children, indeed.

Well, also because he's white and a man and mostly focuses his crudeness on exploiting and being demeaning toward women. That's excusable in the name of some fun rock and roll.

On paper, Beyoncé is the poster child for Huckabee's "Bubba culture" (that's what he called it on The Daily Show last night) values:

So why is this guy a conservative hero, again? Oh right...guns...that's why.

I think it's made creepier by the fact that a couple years prior to writing this song, he started dating a 17-year-old and had her parents make him her legal guardian.

I'm stealing this comment from gilbertkittens when they posted on MA:

It's now time for Uncle Ted's classic ballad:

The problem with most Marvel games. Almost all of them in fact. They don't focus on actually being a hero. They're about going to an area. Essentially killing waves of henchmen and then fight the Blob or some shit.

But if you actually read comics it's rarely ever that simple. There should be bank robberies to stop.…

Elise is my favorite champion and yeah, I'm pretty pissed how Riot just couldn't leave her alone. They were mad that their golden boy #LCSBigPlays maker Lee Sin wasn't the best in the game anymore.

Straight from his Model Mayhem page:

at first I thought, "wait, wouldn't this be empowering if it was a woman photographing it?" And then I read more about the "art" and realized, no, it wouldn't be. Not if the hypothetical lady gave those same justifications for what they're doing... Ick. #byefelicia

This is the meaning of patriarchy; momentum is on your side. Women can write and declare independence, but with each new generation of men, they "reinvent" misogyny and then pretend that they're doing something novel. And each time we are expected to smack our lips, rub our tummies, and pretend it's delicious.

This douchebag. I've said it before, but it bears repeating—

I'm not making this about myself. I'm using myself as an example. I can only speak for myself, but I know other people who have been told their experiences aren't "typical."