A Canadian gold medal will still only buy 0.77 American gold medals.

So all of a sudden Alberta isn’t Canadian!?

After conquering one fabled American past-time, The Canadians’ will now set their sights on mastering morbid obesity and abject racism.

People keep saying “neurotic” like it’s a bad thing. Refusing to sit with my back to the door at a restaurant has kept me alive for this long, thank you and shut up.

[holds finger one millimeter away from sister’s face]

mind-bottling

RACEwaaaaaay PARK!

As a former NJ resident, I can say that the need for state certification never stopped Action Park before.

Ah, good old “Class Action” Park, America’s most dangerous amusement destination.

The best thing about an Action Park related article is that the comments section inevitably turns into a cavalcade of nostalgic horror stories.

Thanks to that video, I now know what it would look like if someone had a massive diarrhea explosion on a 1,975 foot water slide.

I absolutely hate the worship of soldiers in this country. Yes, you can be grateful towards the soldiers but I hate that if you dare to criticize the military even a little bit, people will tear you apart. It’s ridiculous. And these are often the same people who hate “political correctness”. That said, this award is…

Yes, to your pocket it’s probably not a big deal, but the collective amount is what you need to focus on. Take a few minutes to think about all the things a struggling city can do with $250 million motherfuckin dollars.

Duke hat. Of course.

Any discussion about fish and boomerangs starts and ends with this guy.

My sister travelled to Australia like 15 years ago, and brought me back a boomerang. I took it to the park to test it out. It was a blustery day, so I figured the wind would aid in its expected flight pattern. I threw it, and instead of coming back to me, it flew straight towards a group of high schoolers and hit one…

Are we still doing the bicycle kick joke?

no one cares about your stupid boner

The hoop did a perfect Kendrick Perkins impression by being 7-feet tall and not moving the entire time.

Reports: Adam Schefter tears rotator cuff throwing shit against the wall in a vain attempt to have something stick