Hoobastank is in the lobby, begging for spare change.

I took the entire day off, but not because of this.

Hi, Dan. Your grandfather is still upset about accidentally shooting Stonewall Jackson.

Can't say I'm upset about this.

—biopic/musical/action flick.

The Fart is a Lonely Hunter

And Eddie Murphy. AND EDDIE MURPHY! AND GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKING EDDIE MURPHY!

Dan: He's part of the problem.

Hi Dan. Thanks for the explanation involving mathematics.

Joey's younger brother looks like a shark fetus.

Hi Dan. I bet they can now form some sort of Voltron-like monstrosity.

WOOOOOOOORDS!

You, sir, are disrespectful.

The thing about '75 is that the Red Sox weren't expected to do much that year. Then everyone thought the A's would roll over them in the playoffs (A's got swept), and then everyone thought the Reds would destroy them, but they took the Reds to the last out of Game 7. It's more of an admiration of team that was able to…

THAT'S RIGHT! SECOND PITCH! BOOM! RIGHT INTO THE FAHKING FOUL POLE, YA PRICKS! AND DOWNT FAHGET DEWEY EVANS MAKING THAT FRIGGIN UNBELIEVABLE CATCH IN THE 11TH INNING!

WHY IN FAHK'S NAME AH YOU SHOUTING?

Weren't his grandparents Holocaust survivors?

It might not fit on the spine of a book jacket.

No, that's my associate, ElDan.

Your mom likes it firm.