I thought it was just a recording of decoupling train cars.

To get girls.

Great. I'll take another shower. A cold one. For…you know.

That's for the cast of all seasons of Fargo.

Ask the least pervy-looking adult you see for help!

Today's the day I make my move. I've even showered.

Lili Taylor gets my vote.

I'd support that campaign.

I ain't paying the bridge toll just for that.

The Coexist Agency: Let's Talk About Our Feelings

It actually sounds like that Jan De Bont movie, Linda: Vengeful Prostitute.

"[H]er explosion that killed her family"? What did she eat?

Yes. Its name is Barbara Broccoli.

Sid the Science Kid is the worst, so Kermit deserves this.

In some cultures, it's called "anal fisting."

It's like watching Hannah Montana sing Party In The USA.

They would if they learned to enjoy kink once in a while. Some people ask for hands up there.

Chris Penn? But I haven't been working out!

Mario Batali does it for me. Grazie, Mario!

Why didn't they pick Gwyneth Paltrow? She's the wise woman who taught me to avoid cancer by upping my truffle intake and feasting on placenta cassoulets on the first day of each month.