I like to laugh out loud while watching Strangelove so people notice how highbrow my tastes are.

Binders full of hoes!

Did she apologize for Bill having sex with Monica?

You look a little, um, fatter.

We’ve lost all those puns?!?

It was your head in the box!

Trouble: dehydrated vagina

It did for me! I need to change my shorts!

Tron Burgundy?

I know. I can't believe I haven't seen it because I try to watch everything Chastain's in.

Ooh, Crimson Peak. Still haven't seen it. Is it worth my time?

They use peanut oil instead of Canola!

Half-Life Of An Autodidact

"I'm an Orange God!"

Gravity's only a theory!

If you shave off her hair, she looks a lot like Billy Corgan.

She was great as Lux Lisbon in The Virgin Suicides, but perfect as Lux Lisbon in the AV Club comments section.

We should all just exchange numbers and set up a group text.

Everyone loves clowns. They won in the electoral college last year. HEY-YOOOOOO!

Do you choose sex, lies, or videotape?