"I wanted to marry you or have you adopt me"

Bad thing: He killed a guy with a trident.

It really stinks for Boyhood, tho. Best director and best editing should have been a slam dunk for it.

Honestly, Boyhood was straight robbed for best Director and best editing. Like, I don't understand how creating a movie over 12 years and editing it into a chohesive and emotionally satisfying whole doesn't win those awards. Perhaps it's because the Acadeny is incredibly whack. Who even knows.

Michael Keaton was robbed.

Except Eddie Redmayne... that's a joke

Kristen Stewart winning a César award is actually a pretty huge deal. She is the first American actress to ever win it, and the first to even be nominated for it in 33 years. The most recent nomination received by an American was Adrian Brody in 2002. It's an incredible achievement.

It reminds me of a story my father once told me about one of his underlings. The guy called in to say he had the contagious pink eye and he wanted to come into work. The supervisor told him not to come in because he was contagious. He said I know I have the contagious pink eye can I still come in. This went on for a…

In his case, he looks at all the gluten as he's eating it.

The Whole Wheat Toast is the best, because it was so obvious once I read it fully, but at that same time I had no idea of the punchline until the end.

She just had a Crunchy allergy, thats all.

The "lady" in the last story sounds like a real half-wheat...

I don't get it. Pole dancers and escorts deserve to be treated like shit? That girl was a stripper once so she should never be respected again? Mmmmk....

That's a load of tripe.



I'll see myself out now. . . .going to go slap myself for making that joke.

I think it's to imply they should never leave the house? I don't know, I try not to think too much about it or my head will explode.

State senators are a whole other level of wackjobs. I bet attending a state senate meeting is a lot like reading the comments under a Youtube video, but in real life.

Counterpoint.

What did she expect by being a member of a political party that views ALL minorities as inferior.

I've always had a (not so-) secret ambition to be a wildly successful romance novel writer, ever since I saw Lethal Weapon 4, but in all honesty I'd probably be crap at it. I would really love to have a classic Danielle Steele jacket photo, though, with big gold earrings and too much hairspray, just lounging on my…

In Regency romances, the drawing rooms are littered with dukes, when in actuality they were, and are, quite rare. Billionaires are modern-day dukes.