I think the Smirnoff formulation would go:

I just wanna see the scouting notes on JaMarcus Russell. REAL BAD, SLOW DELIVERY, CONDITIONING A CONCERN, BUT CAN THROW TO THE MOON. LET’S GIVE HIM SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS

Oh fuck. I wish you posted a NSFMI (Not Safe For Mental Iceberg) alert.

As a Californian, I’ll say “you’re welcome” a billion times for not electing Carly Fiorina.

I almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day. It’s getting kinda long, I could have said it wasn’t in my way.

Did he do that on purpose? He jumped up like he was calling for the ball.

Okay, how in the hell did they think posting his private medical records was legal? Really?

Bawn Fung.

Apparently one of the alternate endings is her alone, while they end up holding each other at the other side of the bridge.

We have to separate the Matt Damons from the Danny Devitos.

You should have written a longer post to help make your point

“Fuckin’ A. Right on.”

His game this year does bear a passing resemblance to that of a partially-dismembered corpse suspended from a lamp post.

Actually, I was just off writing a rude letter to Carly Fiorina, having made the mistake of reading what she said about the Colorado shootings. I know John isn’t too hugely popular here at DS, and he certainly had a big, fat, dark side. Sometimes, however, a red hot mean song is just what the doctor ordered.

“Qué?”

Remember they are third cousins or something. Elizabeth and Philip are both descended from Christian IX of Denmark and Queen Vic. So that is probably why they have duff genes in circulation. See also Prince Andrew who looks like some Hanoverian throwback to the Regency.

I want a touchdown. I want a two-point conversion. I want...