If he’d have used the correct Russian pronounciation, his rhyming choice would’ve been “jerk off.”

Here’s one for next year, Russ:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens…

She’s cute, but she’s no Humphrey Bogart.

Well which is better though: DeAndre Yedlin starting and starring on Sounders or riding the pine and playing garbage time at Sunderland.

The Dorothy Danderidge part and her struggles with her daughter alone could make a movie.

The obscure Carolina practice squad OL Eratosthenes is really who the beef is with.

That one is so nefarious, it managed to get Ford out of office 3 years before the crisis? Man the CIA is good with the skullduggery

But they would have shut down Mary-Kate. Now that she's a chain smoker the stamina is really down.

They lost their 5th 2 years ago:

With Reese as the White Savior(TM).

Are you referring to LeBron, or that other guy they nominally are calling “coach.”

“Lee Corso’s putting on the Trump head!”

That’s because his personal war raptor carried a full flag for him.

Dog rape apologist!

Careful, he was recruited by Craig Robinson, the POTUS’s brother-in-law.

Except it was Chuck Wepner

It’s Real.

“I can’t wait until his Extremely Bad Jeans phase begins.”