Don’t forget the hat.

“I found it!”

“Secret Squirrel guac goes great with Morrocco molé sauce! Underdog approved!”

More like “rooting for Dell.”

Is there a better indicator of Slavic and Latin cultural differences than those two calls? Spanish: florid and effusive; Russian: curt, unimpressed, somewhat dark.

As an Oregonian (where Daniel lives now), I should note that Daniel probably should be “The Substance Abuse & Crazy Marriage One.”

Except for the northern bit; that's still part of the UK.

Well, he didn't have the shitloads of cash that Mitt did, so he had that to distinguish himself.

“Son, we’ll give you something better than a car.”

Or Nemeth making the soon-to-be-champion Timbers look like spinning foosball men:

You know that the front end of that back-to-back for Portland was them boat racing past Cleveland, right? Without Lillard. You make it sound like they were playing Little Sisters of the Sixers or something.

Kubrick faked the moon landing. Spielberg faked the dinosaurs.

If Putin had been given the chance to run it back, the call would have made Gus Johnson sound like Tom Shane.

He also flashes an inverted shocker.

That's right, if still tied at the end of OT, it goes to penalty kicks.

It makes sense in a knockout game (like Suarez’s, or Tevez’s) but not in a league match mid-season.

Dr. Schrödinger, you should be reffing in your spare time!

How many matches does Cantor announce every week? Seems like he's doing at least 5-6 every weekend.

I think the Cowherd interview of Harbaugh might top that. He wasn't trying to avoid a fine, but he sure didn't want to be there.

Although “MLS Sux” is official editorial policy for this site, the insane 11-round PK shootout between Portland and KC in the playoffs needs recognition, if just for the double-post miss and the keeper-vs-keeper showdown that ended it (right in front of the most avid soccer fan base in North America).