Two drunks are staggering down an alley.

Emmitt Till was never accused of sexually assaulting anyone. He was lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman (and there's even doubt he did that).

Should have left the lens cap on.

Well, if you feel that way, you should blame Todd Haynes.

The best part was the Joe Namath clip:

“Hillary: The 3rd Clinton term, without the horndoggery” is a solid campaign slogan.

Early reports haven indicated at least one of the attackers was French. I suspect they’ll find the majority were.

Krapshoot Payzoffnix

What's the portmanteau for manspreading + mangina?

I think you mean Beverly.

Or his knees were down when he “lateraled”

John Candy’s career sort of died after 1994.

That’s my line. And I am not amused.

The Portland Timbers reserve squad beat Newcastle in a friendly this summer.http://www.timbers.com/post/2015/07/2…

Not much imagination is required:

Colorado has good services for autistic kids (if you have insurance) and legal weed.

No, we won’t allow it.

“People.

Is it too late for Broncos to pick him up and play him tonite?