"I saw Jack Kerouac play the main theatre at the Gold Dust in '73. They really don't make entertainers like that anymore!"

Those damn darkies succeeding at football!

Where are the "that's not a vagina!" pedants when you need them?

I'm sorry, you're not allowed to use "MLS" on Deadspin without also mentioning "relegation." It's on page one of the Style Guide.

oh, and getteth thee off of my agora!

Rhyme? They're pronounced the same!

5 grams, but how many inches? 5.17?

Although at the moment, he's both Above The Law and Hard To Kill.

Depends on if it's an African woodpecker. European? No way.

He could have avoided this problem by playing for Rotherham United.

worse would be Arsenal

Yo Gabana Gabana!

And in the unedited version, it's a lengthy discourse on the fantastic pitching staff of the Yankees in the 60s, followed by speculation on the inspiration for Nicholson's character in The Departed.

There's still the MLS retirement season(s) in his future.

Or because New York Times v. Sullivan makes it virtually impossible for a public figure to win a defamation case.

Isn't Terrence Howard a good candidate for the ass-wiping job? 1. He's got a well-documented nether region cleanliness fetish; and 2. He's supposedly a real jerk (woman-beater, phony)?

Yeah, which means he's been having gay anal type sex with his wife this whole time!

Joan Rivers was a female movie director: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_Te…

They found a first edition of The Iliad. Meryl was stoked.

And Camilla as Gladys Kravitz.