On the list of things adults can do with their neighbors, just for fun, practicing cheers for a yet-to-open high school comes in about 20 places behind, “orgy” and only slightly ahead of, “murdering them.”

I’m all for creative license, KinjaNinja, but this premise goes way too far!

It will rise again...just give it like 20 minutes.

Last night in bed, I told my wife that just like a phoenix rises from the ashes, my penis would rise again. She laughed at me and went back to surfing on her iPhone.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

I was practicing some cheers for the upcoming school year with a couple of my neighbors just for fun.

He killed his paw

Oedipus Tex?

Roger Goodell: [murders Jerry Jones]

Is there a way for all parties involved to lose in this situation? 1, the other owners force Jones to shut up, 2, in a blind rage where he forwards Kaepernick all of the messages from the owner’s private AOL chat room where they clearly and obviously agree to blacklist him, 3, that evidence is used to (insert legal…

God this shit drives me crazy. I guess it’s not surprising coming from a group of businessmen who have spent their lives being vastly overpaid. It’s the same shit that happens at big companies everywhere. Somebody, please, explain to me what evidence there is that Roger Goodell is better at this job than someone who…

It really says something about the shkrelification of the health care industry in this country that “health insurance” is a demand listed alongside “fifty million dollars a year” and “my own jet.”

It is worth noting that—as much of a worthless stain as Goodell is—Jones is lightyears worse. He is an absolute piece of shit. Not that I think that Goodell is worth the money he’s going to eventually going to be paid, but in a vacuum, he has performed well (by the metrics of his bosses, the owners), and has made…

No one can ever complain about overpaid players ever again, not when the worst commissioner in professional sports is set to make $50 mil/year.

You know how this ends right

Anyone could have seen this coming. He’s being directed by a Snyder.

I wonder if at some point he just starts shouting when he reads grocery lists aloud, too. “Eggs, Wheaties, apples, orange juice, milk, POWERADE! SEVENTH GENERATION! LIGHT BULBS! CAMPBELL’S SOUP! A NICE PIECE OF SALMON! canned tomatoes, soy sauce, spaghetti, butter.”

You find a razor on the ground, you’re going to use it.

Oldest trick in the book. Jimmy’s gonna fill his bindle with everyone else’s clothes.

Things must be fucked up behind the scenes big time. First his agent goes public with entirely wrong info regarding his treatment, now the team, while still not revealing what is wrong, says his poor mechanics may have caused the issue rather than being a result of it. It all adds up to a really shitty relationship…