4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

The Spurs could probably have made up 4 foreign-sounding names and traded their draft rights for Boogie on reputation alone.

If all it took to acquire Cousins was Hield, Evans and Galloway, the Toon Squad could have offered fucking Foghorn Leghorn and some of that Acme paint they use to paint intricate fake tunnels on rock formations.

“That’s can’t possibly be our client: he hasn’t hit anyone all year.”

It was undoubtedly the rich guy and, without any suggestion or coaching by my attorney, I also want to say that I am 99% certain that he was acting within the scope of his duties as an employee such that his employer, who happens to have a ten-figure net worth, may be liable for his actions.

Now, tell me again—was it this man with an 8-figure net worth who hit you, or his broke-on-paper friend?

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

This is a significantly worse trade than the Chris-Paul-to-Los-Angeles trade that the NBA stepped in and vetoed several years ago.

Maybe. If the Warriors plane crashes over the Rocky Mountains, sure.

Great move. Southerners love Cousins!

Please tell me this isn’t one of those sporting events. I’d hate to it end up with a rumble in the parking lot between the Chilton fans and the Haynes fans.

Yep, I want to know everything about my new toy. Immediately.

Screw this.

God, remember back when we all thought she was just the battiest goddamned thing to ever come out of politics, and how it was amazing someone that unprepared for office was anywhere even near the presidency?

Considering Sarah Palin normalized rank stupidity, I’d say there’s (at least) one other prominent dipshit he’s got to apologize for.

Deandre Jordan is more of a Maverick than John McCain.

I’m listening....

… isn’t he the only R in congress promising committee hearings into the Russian connections…

The only time John McCain was a good idea was when the alternative was George W. Bush.

I think McCain is an excellent illustration of how positive character traits are not necessarily transitive from one context to another. Just because he was brave in one circumstance hasn’t precluded his being a coward others.