It’s a big fucken snake,

“I ‘aven’t seen Jaws: The Revenge but I ‘ave seen the house it bought for me mum!” - Sir Maurice Micklethwaite

“A Dog’s Breakfast”

Well, shit. Don’t sound so judgmental. Being the face of a par-boiled rice empire ain’t easy, son, and you can’t blame a guy for just wanting to walk away.

And it’s a comic book thingy, for Christ’s sake.

Yeah, and I get a fuckin’ reaming from HR because I had a box of pens just resting in my laptop bag. Fucking. Bullshit.

We lost a legend when John Clarke died.

Will it have a pontificatingly sociopathic Sir Tony Hopkins and a pointlessly cryptic second season that is only so pointlessly cryptic because the fucking writers hung out on the show’s subreddit and wanted to prove how much smarter than a hivemind of a bunch of nerds who have nothing better to do than pick apart…

Holy shit- Seth’s a motherfuckin’ method actor?!?

“Perhaps he is running from the darkness held within all the hearts of humanity, rather than stand and face it?” ~ future philosophy undergrad

That’s...that’s it. You nailed it. It’s like an American tailor, who has made naught but ‘Murrican sack suits for his entire career, was given the task by El Moochamundo there to make him something “more Italian”. And so they just sorta shrunk the sleeve diameter on the jacket and called it a day.

Yes, their mousseleines are classics of their cuisine.

The more I read about it, the more I’m glad I don’t live in America.

Yeah, here’s what happens if you trying to whip unthickened/single cream: you either get flaccid cream that deflates in minutes, or you beat it so much in an attempt to get volume you end up with butter.

Yeah, the gelatine’s what stabilises it. If you want your whipped cream to last more than five minutes, whipping cream is what you want.

Shoulda bought the Barra tooling and jigs off Ford Australia. Straight six, 400-odd HP (tuneable to over a grand if you’re crazy)...done. 

Still, though, I wouldn’t go around calling your self-adhesive wound dressings “Band-Aids”, but.

Having the right amount of woad to properly cover his wrinkling, pendulous ballsack for when he dances naked to appease the Forest Nymphs during an eclipse at Winter Solstice.

“So, who we gonna replace her with?”

“Well, there’s this great presenter who’s just written a book titled Haha, If I’m Going Down I’m Going To Take All Of You Bastards With Me And Milk You For All You’re Worth And Set Fire To The Building On The Way Out, Suckers - we should call them.”

“Brilliant!”