They barely spellcheck articles.

SHUT THE FU- when do we play?

Will we get to see his Roy Orbison tattoo, but?

“Look at yez. Yez are a pack of fookin’ elephants!”

How drunk are you, Lahey?

I like wheeling “cunt” out in front of the Seppoes.

I never watched the original Star Wars so I don’t really give a damn about that. I like the humourous takes on science fiction, that’s all.

Ironically, Kevin Smith was better when he was only playing a stoner.

Great. So Fox is already fucking with the order.

Yes, because if there’s one thing that we all should be watching a science fiction space opera comedy, it’s for the same fucking lame-arse shit every other show does.

Why, yes, Dowd is indeed a wanker.

Well, they need to provide us with lotion and gloves if they want us to tug the authors’ dicks. 

I haven’t seen it, but I heard Jason Momomoa was out-acted by a small piece of CGI coral that had more charisma.

Jesus, more reviewers - of EVERYTHING - need to come to terms with the fact that four stars is all you need. 1-10 is ridiculous, and percentages are fucking stupid (really - go on: tell us all what the difference was that made that 84% movie 2% worse than the 86% movie). This is what I love most about Ebert.

Or at least his massive dong.

What sort of sicko gives a parakeet cigarettes?

The cunt used to shill for Apple.

Seriously, this is some creepily Stalinesque shit.

I wondered what all the fuss about it was, since every prick on reddit and facebook et al would not shut up about it.

“Was this movie released by Disney? No? Then it can suck the smegma out of a hobo’s scabies-riddle foreskin. Fuck it, fuck you, and fuck off.”