Well, this is just ridiculous. the Internet has taught me that when properly performed, motherhood is unceasing toil and self-sacrifice, and the only joy to be found is in loudly proclaiming other mothers' efforts to be inferior to your own.

The "birthing experience" seemed like a means to an end: the end being a baby, who is awesome, and who I was very excited to meet.

My experience with my second was exactly the same. She was breech, my first labour had been precipitous and that freaked me out. I didn't want to be birthing a breech baby at home alone with my 2 year old. So I chose the c-section. The anticipation was wonderful - like all the Christmas Eve's in existence rolled up…

Yes yes, all of this is true, but...

This.

"I'm still a little confused about my options, though. Can we get national security framed as a matter of shoe selection?"

All I kept thinking during that scene was, "His dick is dirty. She's gonna get a yeast infection."

Why if I didn't know better, I'd suspect that Komen pretty much just exists to give big corporations some good press and a tax write-off.

I unapologetically love her. It's not that I don't find some of the GOOPiest stuff out of touch or silly, but it's not like she's shoving kale down anyone's actual throat. I would pay to see that, but I think that makes me a shitty person, not her.

If Martha is the matriarch and Goop is the overachieving daughter, Preserve must be the stoner sister that lives in the basement and can't seem to find her way in life.

I like the way you think.

I recently had a meal that left my stomach so big that a guy offered me his seat on the subway.

Here's hoping Coco Rocha plans on going full Isabella Rossellini on us......

Burt you don't get it, Coco is starting new trend fetus modeling while in womb .

I'm an hour into the Twin Peaks pilot and I keep waiting for Benson and Stabler to burst onto the scene. Otherwise I'm enjoying it.

I hear you. I too have indulged but those days are behind me now. Whenever I rather be having a drink with the person serving it than with the other resort guests I know I have entered the "douche zone"

Completely understand. I rewrote my response multiple times because I'm embarrassed. I hadn't ever stayed in a real resort as an adult until our honeymoon. It actually made me feel uncomfortable—the idea that we had flown further from home than I'd ever been, and yet the "Polynesian dinner show" was as close to the…

since you're such a kind soul permit me to rant on Bora Bora for a second.

Sure, but six nights there is a whole lot less than a million dollars. In fact, it looks like their most expensive fancy pants room is still about $2500 a night.

Bora Bora is a dream, I went there and another island for my honeymoon actually, today last year. I'd actually suggest, if you aren't super into resorts, staying on the main island (the Hilton is there, along with some others). They still have over-water bungalows, but then you can see much more of the actual area,…