Reminds me of a joke. Hillbilly dad tells hillbilly son - for his own good - that women have a second mouth “down there, with TEETH!” in order to scare him away from the lady parts.

Well, given their rhetoric and history, do YOU expect a Republican to know the difference between a mouth and a vagina?

The family dog, OTOH, needs to Chill The Fuck out.

Huckabee can’t possibly believe that hitching his wagon to holdout bigots is a presidential move. So I guess this is “brand building”?

This is an act of religious based terrorism. These people should be treated no differently than al Qaeda. To Guantanamo with their sorry asses.

We’re piloting a new Affirmative Consent initiative starting with the University’s Greek organizations.

Serious question for the ladies in the house. If she never, ever wants to and I’ve tried for years to meet and exceed every expectation, and she says that it’s not me it’s her, and I’ve done everything I can literally imagine to woo and it’s not working, but yet also the idea of going outside our relationship is more…

I’m a dumb-ass white guy in Texas who’s fallen backwards into a good life. Thank you so much for your perspective. Thank you, thank you, thank you. May you and everyone you love find the peace and contentment we all seek.

“Bean Flickin’ Blues” would be a great Melissa Ethridge song. Oh No I Dih-int!

In feudal Japan, falling on a hibachi was the least honorable way to die.

I would love to have a vagina flicking contest with Demi Lovato. I’m a dude, but I would totally wear a stap-on vagina in order to compete.

BNB implies bed AND breakfast. I’m just saying if I was drunk and already making bad decisions at 2 am, an ambiguously horny wife offering to whip up a plate of migas with a decent place to crash would be right up my alley. Terrible Great Terrible Possibly huge VC-funded business idea.

NOOOOOO!!! Not JASMINE!! Baby, please come home. We had some good times! I looked at your profile and messaged you and almost once thought you messaged me back. Jasmine?

Point of inquiry: is the second douche portmanteau adding ‘canoe’ or ‘volcano’?

Ron Paul

In this story, instead of Per Se I’m the kid scrounging change from under the car floormats for Taco Bell. Literally and figuratively.

That is literally Shakespeare.

So, you wrote this whole article and everything *just* to tell me you don't want to fuck?

The answer is simple: men are dogs, women are turtles.

If Trump wins, there will never be another Republican president. Either because the GOP will forever be unable to get the stank off, or because we will all live in some post-Apocalyptic Planet-of-the-Apes type scenario.