Mr. Bean, you scoundrel.

I hate having to say this but...

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

I made paletas de pina (with the squiggle over the n). They won’t be frozen by fireworks time or anything, but they’ll be good tomorrow. I don’t know the spanish for it, but also paletas de (watermelon and lime) I just blended the watermelon & added tons of fresh lime and just tasted it to make sure it wasn’t awful…

Eh, Buttigieg handled himself fine.

It's a shame the President doesn't have a staff, maybe a Secretary, who would meet with the media, even the Press, for briefings on a daily basis. Like every other president in modern history. 

“I’m not homeless,” he said. “Not now. Thanks to her.”

Here’s a friendly reminder, since living in Trump’s America occasionally makes us forget this;

Wow, that video is amazing. I’ve seen laser tag players more disciplined than that scary-assed cop.

Stephanie Washington, 22, was shot in the face and had to go to the hospital for non-life threatening injuries.

#GentrifyingGeorge has no idea the university is that old. Because #GentrifyingGeorge is ignorant of anything other than revisionist history.

I don’t know about taste but I know consistency and thickness is comparable. That’s why they use it for some ballistic testing. 

That “super predator” talking point is an example of the type of propaganda Russia used.

If your flesh is akin to ham, consult your physician immediately.

So, here’s my idea. Get the entire community together, and take over the grounds of, say, the Washington Monument, and when #GentrifyingGeorge and his buddies complain about how they’re ‘disrespecting’ the grounds, tell them that if they don’t like it, they can move the monument.

“ok now, 911 is only for emergencies”

It would take away from our ability to feel afraid [for the family] if they have M’Baku on their side.

“Sure, I can go ‘full Cage’. I need a Dr. Pepper with instant coffee stirred in; two boxes of Tagalongs, not Thin Mints you godless heathens; a picture of Brezhne; an albino staring at me; and I need to see your insurance waivers.”

“Report: FDA Commissioner Presented Plan to Restrict Flavored E-Cigarettes to White House Staff” — I swear, just because of the general corruptness of the current administration, that when I clicked I thought this was going to be a story about an FDA commissioner who wanted to make it so only White House staff could…