I'm all about the average (or even slightly below average) sized dicks. I'm a petite lady, and I don't like a big dick. Plus it's been my experience that guys who are a little smaller/slightly insecure about their dick size learn how to work with what they have SO MUCH BETTER. The worst sex I've ever had has been with…

"...it's been documented for the first time in the Archives of Sexual Behavior by British researchers..."

There's something really beautiful about this comment. That's all I wanted to say.

Me and my partner accidentally bought a gigantic dildo online because they didn't label the measurements very well. We called him Gary and would stick him on the wall or slap each other with him. He's named after Gary "you can't ignore my girth" Oak. We had to throw him out when the house got really hot and the awful…

Take away the peen and I imagine this is what most Texas lawmakers would draw if asked to draw a woman during a psych screening.

Leaving aside my personal opinion about the death penalty, we need to have a trial to administer it. Here are some things that would almost certainly happen at a trial:

Castro is a complete piece of shit, but the death penalty should not even be on the table. There was no murder here. A fetus cannot be murdered, or we should go ahead and tell the pro-birthers that they have already won.

I'm admittedly against the death penalty anyway, but it seems like a plea that would keep him in prison for the rest of his life might be the best result. I'm not sure that testifying and being cross-examined and having to see the fucker again would be helpful for his victims.

Just one of his minimum 15 pieces of flair.

I met this man at the 2012 London Olympics!

Unless you want to be someone's secret black mistress. Men are VERY comfortable saying that they would never DATE a black woman but would like to TRY one. Like we are a kind of pie.

Okay, I wasn't going to get into this, but since YOU brought it up Katie, I totally had a stress dream featuring Jezebel writers two nights ago. I was at Disneyland (I hate Disneyland) with Dodai, Anna, and Madeleine. Somehow it was because of me we were all there and I was trying extremely hard to make Disneyland…

We're all shit mothers depending on who you ask. ;)

I will say maybe open yourself up to someone who has a kid already. Once you're in your thirties, it's a bit more difficult to be finicky about this. When I was still dating, I would date guys with kids, but my rule was this: no more than two kids, no more than 1 baby mama, no one with kids too old to be my own…

No racists, homophobes, furries, or republicans.

Somebody tucks their dick between two kittens, the resulting carnage would be so hilarious that I would BEG them to send me a picture.

However, if your dick is neatly tucked in between two adorable kittens, then yes. Because kittens make everything ok.

Is "...who is a woman" is the new "I have black friends"?

Nah, he is Scar. He will throw William off a tall building and then tell Baby Cambridge it was all his fault.