This explains why my pizza guy carries a samurai sword.

My geneticist friend recently transplanted gonadal tissues into a chimeric steer, which went on to produce sperm (with donor genetic information). So we're not too far off there either.

His husband is a licky man. I mean lucky.

I Wanna Marry Kanye! Starring Kanye West, a mirror, and a liberal interpretation of the same-sex marriage laws.

This is precisely why I never put bumper stickers on my car.

Maybe you're in love.

I like to imagine she meant that they wouldn't be very tasty in a stew.

The law requires that you answer this question truthfully: Are you a panda, sir?! Please remember that you are under oath.

Are there never parades, street festivals, or construction in your town? Permits to use streets in this way also earn money for the town. It's fair use, and thousands enjoyed it. But I suppose if it made you late for your support group for People Who Have Lost Their Sense of Fun, it was a mistake.

The first amendment only applies to what the government does in regards to your speech. A business can fire you for saying things they disagree with. Or for being a dumbass.

a) My son is gay and would not be interested in a lapdance from any woman. b) I can't imagine that the majority of straight kids would be interested in a lap dance from a woman their mom's age. c) Your sample size consists of 'several' men, all of whom are adults and friends of yours. You can't seriously think that…

I may have to make that into a song to the tune of Benny and the Jets.

I got a subscription and it still feels torturous between issues.

I.m pretty sure I watched Lazy Town as an excuse to watch Sporticus stretching. He's a grown man.

It would be weird that he's called their "Aunt Robin" all these years.

In Colorado it is based on formula that takes into account both parents' incomes, expenses, and time spent with the child. Then the parents can negotiate that amount up or down depending on their circumstances. For example I asked for about half of the recommended amount according to the worksheet because I knew he…

If you read the small print, it's probably exactly what he's talking about. The creator seems to be saying that condoms do not improve safety in sexual activity, which is just wrong.

Before anyone gets too pleased by your green or below, remember that these are real-time updates, not yearly averages. Your city may also go into the red at times with a change in the weather, temperature inversion, volcanic activity, high activity days for local industries, and other factors. Denver used to be known…

If it's so easy to get medication, I should have consulted you when my son snapped and couldn't stop hitting himself. It took over a month and two trips to the ER to find a doctor who felt qualified to give him medication. They all agreed that he needed it, but everyone called a professional version of "not it." There…

Precisely why the employees are trying to get this changed through their union: they didn't sign on for that. Imagine if you had to do a challenging and sometimes dangerous job, but your employer suddenly wants you to wear a sexually provacative uniform while doing it. It might feel disrespectful to your skill and…