No, I’d have fucked you up more than you’d fuck me up. Pretty simple. You’d be dead.

Don’t try and apply levelheadedness here on the (former) gawker sites. They won’t stand for it! It’s pitchforks and fire only. No indiscretion ever goes unpunished by all these upstanding commenters.

FUCK YOU MARIAH CAREY AND FUCK 2016 FOR BEING A YEAR IN WHICH THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE!

Does anyone honestly believe that 2016 is responsible for the problems...as if he flipping over to another calender year is somehow going to magically change things? “Fuck 2016" is the worst thing about 2016. What are you blaming a year for?

Well the music sure was intense.

Nobody is. Fans of contact sports don’t need to reconcile these conflicts of enjoying a sport that can cause long term health issues. The businesses that operate them should pay health care for them...but on a personal level, I enjoy the sports and don’t need anyone’s approval to watch them.

I don’t believe any of you for a second that you actually enjoy getting fat and old on the basis that it somehow absolves you of having intimate connection with men. That’s just a bunch of defensive nonsense.

It’s like reading an essay in an undergrad lit mag.

You must really hate people if you’re willing to risk your health on the assumption that men aren’t going to find you attractive because you gained weight. That’s just unhealthy all around.

Yeah I’m not doing all that.

If I was one of the most successful people in my profession (and most recognizable person as well), I’d date whoever the fuck I want to.

They look like two people who would read jezebel. Or watch Fox news. Not sure any more.

After spending most of my life afraid of flying, I’ve come to really enjoy it and am a good passenger. One thing that helps me is that I don’t drink alcohol often and I try and be polite to everyone I speak to on the plane.

How did you make up afterward?

I was raped during my second year of graduate school and it completely altered my career. I hope this young woman finishes her education at some point, even though it’s tremendously difficult to do so after something like this.

Holy god that guy is awful. Entertaining though.

Anyone else listen to Bill Burr’s podcast and hear his rant about people blaming 2016? It was great.

I’m happy to announce that I don’t care enough about pop culture to have a favorite, although I care enough to tell you all about it.

Aaron Hernandez is probably the scariest dude to ever play in the NFL.

I don’t watch enough soccer to really know what I’m talking about, but I always hated the offside rule.