Yeah, I’m vaxxed and boosted. Gonna just stick with the cloth masks, I already have a dozen of them and they’re easy to throw in the laundry basket daily and reuse.

I don’t really get the first point - he didn’t force her to audition, if anything it seems pretty clear from the anecdote that he didn’t want her to. She wanted to so she paid her own way to do so. She could have easily said “fuck this guy, I’m not paying for my own ticket for a job interview.”

Like when I wanted to see 10,000 Maniacs.

You know you’re getting old when you read the lineup and go:

I’d actually watch the Oscars if it was Knoxville hosting lmfao

I think the Europeans need to gouda here with that take...  they might awaken the sleeping Muenster...

They should get everyone who got #metoo’d in the last few years, and then when they assemble on stage, drop them into a pit of rabid lawyers.

Look, sometimes you gotta make a batch of night-night chicken tenders to shut the kids up.

You would not believe the number of people I’ve seen who turn on their hazard lights but not their proper lights. It’s wild.

Now if only their lights could be activated automatically with the wipers, as well. The number of cars I run up on through heavy rain/mist/fog/snow without their taillights on is staggering. If we can’t agree to have rear foglights and use them correctly, we should at least get headlights/taillights on.

Oh, she will definitely take a shit in a suitcase.  Straight deadpan.

NyQuil is disgusting tasting. I don’t understand why anyone would want to eat a piece of chicken versus just taking a shot of the nastiness. This leads me to believe 1 of 2 things:

A small step toward the eventual goal of Aubrey Plaza being in everything.

Question: would that search qualify as a HEPA filter and would it replace HIPAA violations

That’s because the Spider-Man movies he was in were pretty bad.

Sure, its bad for the environment, but hear me out...tourist attraction theme park.

Warm take: everything is terrible, and lying to keep fun plot details sorta-kinda secret is ok actually.

“In rare cases may cause excessive gambling.” This is a real warning for a side effect on a medication. You would think they would hand them out as you get off the plane in Vegas.

Celsius? What, are you some kind of sorcerer?

You forgot the penultimate pharmaceutical warning: “May cause death”.