In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the A.V. Club commenters, whose niche knowledge is mostly useless. These are their stories.

Waiting to see if his defense is, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, while she may have been twelve at the time, we seek to prove that she ached just like a woman, yes she did, she took just like a woman, yes she did, and she made love just like a woman, but she-actually, I’d like to withdraw my statement.”

So if I’m reading this correctly, the problem is that Marvel temporarily replaced the promotional Twitter account avatar of a character whose show dropped several months ago with a different character whose show dropped last night?

The CDC presentation says that “[g]iven higher transmissibility and current vaccine coverage, universal masking is essential to reduce transmission of the Delta variant.” The CDC chose a less drastic message in their announcement the other day, recommending masks depending on your personal situation and the…

The Truman Show for the Fortnite age?! I was hoping it would be more like an Ed TV for the TikTok era!

Because COVID-19 is, in the U.S., 63 TIMES more deadly than chickenpox?

But, context helps here...

if you wanted to be a little unfair and clickbait-y

If there’s one thing you learn watching all the Hulk Hogan vehicles it’s that huge hulking muscle men are really hard to convincingly shoot in any sort of love scene.

So you want wholly original stories that pay no homage to any stories that came before them? You...may be shit out of luck, buddy.

“No problem with someone liking a film that I don’t.”

Larry Bird made Michael Jordan play basketball using only one foot? Larry Bird made Michael Jordan vomit like he’d been poisoned with eggs? Larry Bird made Michael Jordan get shot in Ford’s Theater? You’re going to have to be more specific here.

I mean, a bad season 5 of Game of Thrones won best drama over Mad Men’s final season and BCS’s first season, so I wouldn’t consider the Emmy’s a place where the best show is necessarily rewarded. Carrie Coon didn’t even get a nomination for any of her seasons of The Leftovers while you saw Kevin Spacey and Robin…

You could not have put that any more perfectly. 

It’s a comedy because that same character’s paralysis got cured by Dee Snyder.

Disgusting. Who would watch James Corden?

The great thing about Conan O’Brien is like you said, his willingness to try anything. Travel to Cuba, Haiti, Mexico, guest star on a telenovela. I remember an episode when he went to Israel and he was listening to some Palestinians vent at him about Israel, it was uncomfortable and certainly not funny but it was…

This sucks. And hurts. My father loved Clapton. Worshiped at his alter of guitar playing to the point of handcrafting his own amp to duplicate the amp Clapton used on the legendary John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers album. Owned multiple Strats, of course. Could play pretty much any Clapton solo note for note.

Podcasting didn’t start until 10/8/13 #theboys

Look, I understand that Norm Macdonald may have irreparably fucked his career going forward, but your list not including this interview pretty much invalidates it: