You are the epitome of sanctimonious. Luckily, you also have no idea how funny or un-self-aware you are. 

““I actually think it’s one of the best jobs that’s ever been done with respect to what this is all about,” he added.”

That motherfucker forgot what he was talking about mid-sentence. 

According to 9 out of 10 Trump voters, Obama both ended AND created racism. Which is impressive.

“If only Democrats would have stuck with their original ideals; like Jim Crow and segregation.”
 
 This is grade school level revisionism

So when the people in the two parties literally switched their labels because of race-related policy, and because no one alive today was a Democrat in the 1860s - you think those principles still define the Democratic party of today how?

The fact that we’re not talking about Hollywood Masterclass being back makes me very sad.

Serena broke the rules, she lost her cool and acted irresponsibly. She deserved everything she got. If she wants to be a role model she needs to start by growing up and taking responsibility for her actions.  She is no victim here. 

Racist sexist judge favours woman of colour over woman of colour. Come off it.

Literally zero people in that room know the Gettysburg Address by heart.

Great scott, you’re right!

Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock...

Pulled from the top of my head:

And what did they find inside his brain?

fuck guns

“It’s at this point you might ask yourself, “Wait, wasn’t Al Capone a criminal kingpin who was extremely guilty of federal tax crimes?” Why, yes, he was. Thanks for pointing that out, Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz.”

To complete the analogy, let’s not forget Capone’s raging syphilis. 

They come in illegally from Indiana, you fucking putz. Go unfasten your lips from Sarah Huckabee’s lowest hanging teat.

‘why the hell Norm MacDonald keeps getting work.’

If your barometer for ‘good comedian’ comes from them being an SNL castmember, you must not know a lot about comedy. 

“Lowlife. She’s a lowlife”