You have to watch Airwolf on Netflix. I dont think I ever got to the point where he flys the helicopter.

Even then, I never made it through a full episode. That is how terrible that show is.

Haha. I was actually rooting for that girl to get eaten by zombiez because she was just f-ing useless, screaming and would not follow instructions. Everyone on that show needs to die because the brain-dead are smarter than they are. Not one of them have ever created the second weapon humans made, the sharpened stick.…

Thank you. It happens. So long as you aren’t an asshole (pun, lol) and do it “accidently on purpose”, get over it. You know what also happens? Getting your dick jammed because someone missed. That is significantly unpleasant. No one meant to do it. You say, “Owie”, you both say you’re sorry and movie on. That is what…

His jokes killed.

...I thought I was developing narcolepsy and hemmroids. That makes a lot more sense.

STOP! giving them ideas. They will also be sending driving reports to your insurance co, the police and credit rating agencies.

“Listen,” said Ford, who was still engrossed in the sales brochure, “they make a big thing of the ship’s cybernetics. A new generation of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.”

The “its cold outside” warning is driving me insane.

With those comfy bench seats it would be an ideal car to take to the drive-in with your significant other.

Thats awesome. I still do that as an adult to see who else never grew up.

Nope. Mr. TORGUE!!

I am sure the police will see it that way. It is more likely to be a Mid-Westerner though. (See what I did there? Lol. I feel like Darth Vader telling Dad jokes.)

Oh really? There is a science that tells you what bullet matches to the gun it was fired from? I had not thought of that. I thought it was majic like how planes fly or how computers work.

The problem is proving who fired it. Try rounding up every redneck in a 5 mile radius and figuring out which one both randomly shot in the air and hit you.

Most life situations can be solved with the advice, “don’t be an idiot.”

Q-Tips need to be prescription only and cost $500 for 2.

Miss South Carolina is writing for Gizmodo now.

Where did you get that pic of my ex-wife?

“The best part of Live and Let Die was gorgeous Jane Seymour losing her virginity - the rest was kind of meh. Except for the theme song - that was glorious.”